Dying for a Deadly Embrace: Jerking Off
In An Interview with Ken Abraham
Written by Rhonda Baughman:
I’ll be honest: I waited twenty goddamn years to watch this movie - mostly because I couldn’t find it, anywhere, in any format. So – when Linnea Quigley’s manager ran a special indicating freshly minted DVD copies of Fairy Tales were available, I picked one up and asked her of Linnea had a used VHS copy of Deadly Embrace lying around. She did. I offered fifty bucks and she accepted. You see, it had to be VHS – I needed it to attain the full effect, capabilities, and nostalgic height in order to enshroud myself in the era we call: the late eighties …
It was well worth the wait and well worth the cash. And my eighties craving was satiated.
December’s issue of Sirens of Cinema contains my interview with Michelle Bauer, whereupon she indicates director David DeCoteau (The Girl I Want, Nightmare Sisters, Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama) always knew how to cast the hottest men on the planet. She’s right – just look at some of them: Andras Jones, Richard Gabai, Billy Jacoby, John Stuart Wildman, Michael Sonye (keep quiet about my weird taste) and who could forget Ken Abraham? This luscious hunk of man meat appeared in both DeCoteau flicks Creepozoids and Deadly Embrace (and Ric Sloane’s Vice Academy, but you know, I’m not obsessed or anything). So, aside from partaking of the talents of our girl Linnea, and Michelle Bauer herself … I knew deep down I wanted to see Abraham’s ass – I’ve never lied before, so I’m not about to start now.
This film is a must-see for Jan Michael Vincent fans, too. Before the hardcore and elite among you ask: HE HAS THOSE?! – I will say, yes, he does – and who are to criticize someone who has been making movies longer than you’ve been jerking off? So really … keep quiet. Again. It should also be noted this film is classic proof Linnea Quigley can really act – in a variety of roles – and she is just adorable. With clothes and without. I really wish Hollyweird would wake up already – and notice something besides their own fat pockets; Linnea can really shine when given the right script. Michelle Bauer is underused in the film – but she is beautiful, appearing mostly unclothed as the essence/female embodiment of sex. So, really – I can’t complain.
With the exception of the two famous scream queens, Jan Michael Vincent, and of course, the cheeky Ken Abraham, everything else is utterly forgettable. One does have to appreciate though the extraordinary amount of time people spend with phones in the film: picking them up, staring at them, hanging up, leaving messages. I might go back and watch it just to play a drinking game – taking a shot each time a phone is used for the scene. Or who know? Maybe I’ll bring out a vibrator and ever time … well, you get the idea.
Turns out Ken Abraham really is a cheeky guy – and a raucous man to interview. Who knew we also both share a very important similar acting trait? Yes, that’s right – you’d think it would be our distinct voices, incomparable on-screen delivery, and magnetic chemistry during sex scenes, but alas, no. It’s simply the act we both fast forward through the majority of films we’ve been in – for reasons both internal and external.
Rhonda: We spoke briefly about Deadly Embrace – and with your permission, I will use the earlier statement …
Ken: Really, that’s it about Deadly Embrace? I see you must’ve liked the movie, too.
Rhonda: Actually, I did – but I have the feeling you might cease the interview if I spoke aloud about your ass.
Ken: Deadly Embrace was another lifetime ago. I haven't seen it in years. And even when I did, I fast forwarded through most of it. I was supposed to have scenes opposite Karen Black. Trilogy-of-Fucking-Terror Karen Black. Remember her just sitting there in the end just squatting on the floor with a butcher's knife and those carved teeth? Freeeaaky. And that little voodoo doll? She threw him in the oven, a suitcase actually ...
Never got to work with her. She bailed and they threw in a pair of freakin’ hands to simulate the doctor's office. Lame. Not my hands either. At least I knew how to smoke a fuckin’ cigarette. Ah, who cares. Decades ago.
Thanks for contacting me, feel free to ask me any questions regarding the project.
I gotta say though, some movies are bad good and some are bad horrible; but that one is just plain bad. I won't watch it again for the interview, but will do my best from memory.
Although there’s one scene I remember from the film that still bugs me. It’s when a gun is pulled on me and I gasp and lean against the wall. Uggh! I mean, whaddya do when I real gun is pulled on you, right? While I was mulling that over, you know getting in character, all that actor bullshit, the director gets a little irritated and says just sigh and lean against the wall. But... but...but...can’t I just... No! Just sigh and lean against the wall. I did; it was awful - one take, moving on. Bullshit. One take...
Rhonda: How about a little film called Creepozoids … would you care to elaborate on the production of that film?
Ken: Low budget film shot in a warehouse in Culver City, with some exteriors downtown LA. It was my first film and I was happy to be there. There’s one scene during the opening montage of the movie upon which the cast is walking along the ledge of a bridge over the LA river. For anyone not familiar with LA, that means walking over a dried out bed of concrete. Nary a drop of water – although it floods at least once a year when the rains hit and there’s always one poor schmuck getting washed away with the current and needs to be rescued, but I digress...
So the cast is walking along the outer edge of this bridge, and it’s at least 50 feet or so from the concrete. Maybe 40 feet. Who knows? All I know is I’m afraid of heights and there was no way I was stepping out on that ledge. Fuck that. I freaked. Started pacing in circles and going off and shit. People had to talk me down. Ken, you don’t have to do it. Chill. You don’t have to do it! I didn’t do it. That’s why in the scene it’s shot as if I’ve already crossed and I’m giving a “C’mon, let’s go!” to everybody else, as if they’re holding me up. Truth be told, I was a big ‘ole wuss. That scene’s only about a second long, and as mentioned is in the opening montage. Too bad you can’t appreciate the height from the camera angle. Thanks Thom Callaway. He was the DP and the one who talked me down, by the way.
Rhonda: Please tell me about working with David DeCoteau – his style, your rapport, et al.
Ken: David DeCoteau gave me my movie break. I had only done one TV show previously, which was Superior Court in which I played a punk who stole a car and crashed it, or something like that. Creepozoids was actually an audition for a friend of mine named Billy Frank who was in Hobgoblins, Lady Avenger, and a bunch of other crap, and I crashed his audition and ended up getting the part. Aside from asking me how many times I jerk off a day (come on Ken, you can tell me; I jerk off 4-5 times a day myself) I don’t remember too much of his directing style. Fast, to the point. Tight. Never had a problem. Never told him how many times I beat off though. Fuckin’ actors.
Rhonda: And working with Linnea Quigley, I believe at least three times – there are many in the industry who would have eaten glass to be in your position – would you care to comment on working alongside the scream queen?
Ken: Anyone says a bad thing about Linnea and I’ll kick ’em in the nuts. I was in awe of her. Sexy, smart, funny... really funny. She used to mess with me on the set. It was my first film, I was a total goober. During our eating scenes I ate everything in sight. Even when the camera wasn’t on me. Yams. Tons of yams. At the end of the show she gave me a can of yams signed by the whole cast. I had to toss it just a year or so ago because it started leaking. Can’t hold onto the past. It’s nasty...and leaks!
Hated, hated, hated our kissing scene. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t hate doing it (what am I -an idiot?) … I just hate the end result. I mean, c’mon look at it: They yell action and our heads are going in two different directions like two mutant cats trying to suck a cactus. (What the FUCK does that mean!) What I’m trying to say, and this is a running theme here, doing one take on celluloid – it is celluloid isn’t it? – sucks! Aha! Okay, there’s something I would have taken over. I wish I could go back and say whoa, whoa, whoa... slow down everyone, cut the camera. Ok, let’s just kiss like humans, we’ll start off slowly then you guys role the camera. How’s that? But no, instead we have the world’s worse impetuous kiss barked on command by Action! Did I mention it wasn’t even a real shower, but rather a kiddie pool with the art director just off camera pouring an Arrowhead water bottle down a makeshift conduit shower setup. Oh yeah, hi-tech. Loved every second of it.
Rhonda: How was the time you spent on the Angel set?
Ken: I originally had only one scene for Angel, and then a week or so later they added another scene. I couldn’t complain. I have a little fight scene with an actress -- Elizabeth Strohm, I believe -- something like that, and she roughs me up pretty good. They put padding on me around my waist because of when she kicks me when I’m on the ground. I told her to kick me, keep it real, fuck it, I got padding. Man, I went home with welts. Was fun though.
Rhonda: Who have been your favorite directors to work with?
Ken: Timothy Busfield was really cool and did an impeccable Burt Lancaster imitation, and Dan Peterson was awesome because there was a lot of free range and improv – kinda as opposed to “just lean up against the wall and sigh!” Different strokes.
Rhonda: Is there a big transition for you – from direct-to-video, television, and working as an editor/director?
Ken: I don’t wear make up and no one’s gutting me with a knife.
Rhonda: Did you originally intend on becoming an actor? If so, have your dreams been fully realized as you desired – or is there something else you would like to do in regards to acting?
Ken: Help, I might puke.
Rhonda: The best laid plans sometimes have detours – do you have any?
Ken: Yeah, 10th Ave goes all the way up the West Side, so don’t use Broadway. (I know, fucking lame cheeky bastard).
Rhonda: Is your imdb.com profile current – and if so, is there anything on it you would like to elaborate upon?
Ken: IMDB is crap. Anyone can post. It’s the Wikipedia of credits. Don’t believe it.
Rhonda: What are you up to these days – personally and professionally? That is, hobbies, interests, etc. – what’s an average day for Ken Abraham?
Ken: I’m working in a mayonnaise factory out on Long Island perfecting the art of emulsion. Remember, real mayonnaise only uses ONE egg as an emulsifier. Ah, the things you learn.
Rhonda: Is there anyone you would like to work with? How about anyone you would never work with again?
Ken: One of my biggest thrills was being on the set with Alan Hale Jr., the skipper from Gilligan’s Island. It was Terror Night or Death Squad or Death Bowl or whatever the fuck they renamed and re-released it.
Rhonda: Do you have any idols? If that is too strong of a word, how about anyone you would consider a valuable mentor?
Ken: None that anyone would know.
Rhonda: What are your current favorite films? Books? Musical artistes?
Ken: I don’t care.
Rhonda: You have had a successful career for over 20 years – what attributes/traits do you hold, aside from the obvious, that can help account for this longevity?
Ken: Yikes, I’m getting that gag reflex again... don’t want to hurl.
Rhonda: What have been some of your most memorable/favorite moments in your lifetime?
Ken: Shit, I just puked. I gotta get a wipey...
Rhonda: Is there anything you wish you could/would have done differently?
Ken: I wouldn’t have lit the propane tank on the side of Jackie Deacon’s house on fire when I was a little kid. That was dumb. I’m lucky to be alive.
Rhonda: What advice would you give to aspiring actors? What about those who aspire to work behind the camera?
Ken: If a prick like me can talk you out of it, then you don’t deserve to be in it. Just a thought. Oh yeah, and be sure to tell everyone how many times you jerk off a day. It’s seems to be a priority for some.
Rhonda: I reserve this spot for questions you wish I would have asked …
Ken: Ken, what are the secrets of perpetual motion and please explain quantum electro dynamic theory.I’m glad you asked! As you know, theoretically, a body moving in a perfect vacuum with no forces acting at all on it will achieve perpetual motion, at least according to Newton's first law of motion, but in reality no perfect vacuum exists or is isolated from all forces.
And as for quantum electro dynamic theory goes... well that’s a light matter. Get it? Light – matter. Get it? C’mon, exchange of photons? Light matter.... I kill myself. Is this on?
Feliz Navidad! ;-)
Rhonda: Ho Ho Ho
