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Top 50 Toys that Need to be Made (Part 2 in a series)An article by Michael O'May This is a continuation of the first part of Michael O'May's Top 50 Unmade Toys, Click Here to read part 1 (and preface).
Who is she? Arguably Linnea Quigley’s best role as an actress and defiantly her most memorable. In Return she plays Trash a punk who hates clothes and has a thing for dirty old men. Why do we need her? Because love her or hate her Linnea deserves a figure and trash is a pretty important character in the movie with tons of visual appeal. What would we make? Two figures in one set, normal maybe semi nude Trash with a tombstone base to dance on accompanied by her nude chalk white zombie form ready to tear apart some cops and homeless guys.
Who is he? The best friend a boy could ever have that’s who. FIDO is the break out star from this year’s Canadian release FIDO, a movie about a boy and his pet zombie in a very bizarre take on 50’s Americana Why do we need him? Because a fun movie deserves fun things, in time FIDO will prove to be an enduring character thanks in part to the man who plays him, Billy Connelly. What would we make? FIDO is his Zom-con jumpsuit ready to assist you in your everyday chores or just sit there in your cubicle at work. He would come it a baseball and glove accessory for those summer days playing catch. Special Micro-Shock.com exclusive! Deactivated Bloody FIDO #38: The Fitzgerald sisters (Gingersnaps) box set
Why do we need them? Well what self respecting horror movie fan doesn’t have a crush on these two? Be it Brigitte or Ginger (Ginger for me I think) and lest we forget the kick ass werewolf designs. What would we make? Bridgette as herself of course but the real trick is do you have ginger in her werewolf or on werewolf form, we are going with the monster guys sorry. #37: Riki-Oh
Why do we need him? Because honestly when you watch you can’t help but wonder, is this movie one insanely gory toy commercial, the film is packed with super villains, kung fu heroes and more shenanigans than I can shake a Korean at. What would we make? A super possible Riki-Oh complete with several rubber goons w/ various bloody holes he can punch his arms through for some sweet poses. #36 DOLEMITE MUTHAFUCKERS (Circa human tornado)
Why do we need him? Because we need a toy to remind us everyday that we are slave trading crackers working for the man and our white women are not safe while DOLEMITE is still laying pipe. What would we make? DOLEMITE of coarse but when a switch on his back is flipped he begins to vibrate so if need be even the toy can fuck a bitch.
#35 Teen-Wolf
Why do we need him? Well because if you’re a child of the 80’s (if you can figure out a computer you qualify) you grew up thinking how cool it would be to be a werewolf (me id prefer to go the American Werewolf in London route and rip people apart, but hey party animal is cool too). Having a teen wolf toy is as about as close as most of us can hope to get. What would we make? Teen Wolf complete with shades and a lets party look on his face in an air guitaring pose, he comes with some double sided tape so you can stick him on top of your party van if need be. #34- Teen- Ape
Why do we need him? Because it’s about time something shit from the mind of Chris Seaver gets some love. Besides someone needs to put my spice girls collection in its place. #33- The Prophecy Bear
Why do we need it? Because it’s a giant monster bear that rips people apart is there any other reason you need? It hits a dude so hard he explodes! This beast is a must own for anyone who claims to be cool in my book. What would we make? The Bear in 18inches to better capture all the gruesome detail in its hideous deformities, and just to be fucks we would use lead paint so the toy like the movie creature will be toxic. #32 -Dr. Tongue
Why do we need him? See above What would we make? Dr. Tongue in all his bloody glory with a street base and a “The Dead Walk” newspaper at his feet
#31- The Bad Taste Aliens
Why do we need them? Troop building for one and two it’s fucking Bad Taste these weird looking bastards were fun. Jackson needs more love in toys beyond lord of the rings. What would we make? The Alien complete with bowl of green slime, machine gun and two hands, one making the peace sign, the other telling you to fuck off.
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#40: Trash (Return of the living Dead):
#39: FIDO
Who are they? The Canadian Goth sisters who are obsessed with death and being as antisocial as possible, a wrench is thrown into the works though when one of them becomes a werewolf. 
Who is he? A crazy Asian guy from the cult classic “Story of Ricky”, a dude who gets sent to a super jail and unbeknownst to everyone he kicks so much ass he can punch through anything, including people. 
Who is he? Fuck Shaft, DOLEMITE is the baddest motherfucker around. He will kick your ass, take your weed and fuck your wife, then some how jump up a wall and escape while calling you a jive ass honkey.
Who is he? Are you serious? You don’t know who teen wolf is? Michael J Fox is a complete fucking tool that just isn’t quite cool enough until he discovers he’s actually a werewolf! Then instead of killing children he decides to play basketball and hit on babes, go figure. 
Who is he? Do you think we would forget the mother fucking teen ape? He’s the time traveling Gigolo who happens to be a teen age ape/Rick James clone. Nobody lays down the bitches like Teen ape!
What is it? Some sort of 15 ft half skinless mutant bear that loves to tear apart hippies and kids in sleeping bags. Thanks mercury poisoning!
Who is he? The first Zombie you see in George A. Romero’s Day of the Dead, and he is considered one of the coolest committed to film ever as most of his jaw and face have been blown away by a shotgun letting his tongue hang from a shattered face.
Who are they? Peter Jackson’s evil space aliens sent here to harvest us for their space fast food joints, thankfully there are some crazy kiwi’s ready to stop him including Peter Jackson himself. 
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