Wherefore Art Thou, Roxy Hearts?
(And find Jacob for me, too ... )

A brief review of Suck It and See by Rhonda Baughman

Some of us may have to suck for a long time to see this film again, so ...  I better come up for air ...
           
I just traversed the internet to make sure I spelled her pseudonym correctly ... was her last name singular or plural? Roxy - Roxy - Roxy ... I can hear it whispered on the wind. She’s perfect. She’s flawless. I want to get her name right. This matters.

Here I am worrying about her goddamn pseudonym and it’s like the girl up and left the scene anyway. And why is that, I have to ask for the love of all indie film connoisseurs everywhere? She was the most beautiful creature I have ever seen. And I have seen (and touched) a few beautiful creatures. In a new world order of overly-hyped and excessive human, film, and musical manufacturing - droll dramatis and boring bullshit beats - truly, she was the most strikingly gorgeous, untouchable feminine specimen to grace my vision and remain just out of reach. I do not type this lightly - at no convention have I seen her, in no other movie have I caught her ... she does visit in my dreams, though.

Once upon a time, I swore I found copies of Jacob Pander’s Suck It and See all over the place -  on amazon.com, imdb.com, and eBay.com. Apparently, this is no longer the case. I have my own copy, thankfully - and in case of fire - it’s coming with me.

This 30 minute visually pleasing Pander/Howie B homage to porn is a colorfully shot, gleeful, and erotic mixture of ambience, techno, trance, and any other suspect hipster term for ‘great club music you can fuck to’- and it’s all set to Roxy and her hot pals. I could break down each segment - but really, why bother? Order the damn dvd while seven copies still exist, locate a good bottle of wine to drink while you watch (alone is fine, but to experience full flavor you should probably grab some pretty pals to play with, too), and then you tell me if Ms. Hearts is not one of the most arresting visions of the late 20th century.

(And just in case you think your pretty pals are as rockin’ as Roxy ... um, why don’t you videotape your Suck It and See slumber party and send me a copy - I’ll let you know.)

For sale: http://www.microcinemadvd.com/
Brief teases: http://panderbros.com/film.html and http://panderbrosstudios.com/

Go Back