The Secret of Life:
Solarbabies

A review by Rhonda Baughman

            “I am convinced locating Bodhi would answer all the questions pecking at my skull.”
            “Huh?”
            “If I could locate Bodhi all - ”
            ”Who?”
            (Pause)
            “What do you mean, who?”
            “I mean, who is Bodhi?”
            “He’s the glowing orb who comes to save the world, help orphans find water, and telepathically communicates with a young Lukas Haas.”
            “What the fuck are you talking about? Why are we dating?”
            (Pause)
            “Get out of my car. Bodhi would not approve of you.”

Well, all of the above is true, except for the last part - that was only in my head. Maybe. And just in case I am not joking, do not piss me off while I’m driving, nor should you denounce Bodhi and the Solarbabies crew in my presence. If you’ve seen this movie and are aware of its intrinsic brilliance, you belong to a select superior species. If you own a vhs copy of this film, complete in its original clamshell case, you are my hero and should thus apply to date me. Further application questions will include Solarbabies knowledge, so don’t try to fool me. I’ll know.
And so will Bodhi.
Director Alan Johnson was an award winner - look him up. He just didn’t, you know, win shit for this particular futuristic opus. I have no idea why either when you witness all it has to offer.
 Early teaming of Jami Gertz and Jason Patric (and let me tell you, Solarbabies stands the test of time, The Lost Boys does not.) Also present is a young James LeGros - highly hot and underrated, he’s been in the background of many a damn great film. (Guncrazy, Drugstore Cowboy, Where the Day Takes You are films you may have heard of - if not, get out of my metaphorical car.) And yes, he has been in about 47 films no one has ever heard of, but who hasn’t these days? Furthermore, look closely - rounding out the hottie brigade are a young and bizarrely coiffed Adrian Pasdar (Near Dark) and Bruce Payne (Jurgen from season two of La Femme Nikita).
But merely discussing the men and women I want to see shirtless is not the only reason to watch Solarbabies. Admittedly, it is important, and if the rollerskates and mystagogue dialogue don’t do it for you, then the real reason remains Bodhi. It’s sad  - but Bodhi the glowing orb has more acting ability than 85% of the cast and crew of virtually every goddam mainstream film I have suffered through from the last fifteen years. This is me being non-sarcastic, too, so the next time you see me if you are applying for a date, I recommend you not suggest going to the theater. I mean, you can suggest it, but I’m liable to kick your ass. However, if you can bring me the head of Bodhi and promise me a honeymoon at the AquaBunker, your application just might be considered.

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