The Hills Have Thighs
A Bubba Cromer Presentation

Review by Rhonda Baughman

Update: You can now get the directors cut of The Hills Have Thighs, available directly from the official Hills Have Thighs Website.

Oh, if Harmony Korine humped the crumply corpse of Ed Wood and John Waters filmed this little hootenanny, you might have an inkling behind the lends of Bubba Cromer’s The Hills Have Thighs. Before you laugh off this little presentation, I will have you know – like the opening sequence and the cartoon drawing on the DVD’s cover, fluffer is something I take very seriously. And if I didn’t know better (and really, I do not) fluffer is most likely a fetish … Not the individual hired for the adult film industry sets, but the food – fluffer.
I once had a roommate who ate fluffer (as a white bread sandwich) and thought Jesus lived in her magnetic mattress. Uh-huh. I see fluffer in the store, I hear about fluffer lovers, and quite frankly I refuse to capitalize this goddamn noun, because I am not giving it any sense of nobility or entitlement. I take fluffer seriously, because like all fetishes, there may be some type of trauma involved – and I do believe watching my ex-roomie eat that fluffer sandwich was quite traumatizing, thank you, and therefore I take visuals of this food very, very seriously: for the sake of me, mind you, just me – I do not want the visual to trigger some kind of anxiety attack.
And now here comes Bubba Cromer and his vision of fluffer. To give Cromer credit, in said opening sequence, he only dabs a bit of fluffer at the corner of the Appalachian beauty’s craw – so when she awakens near the tub of fluffer at her bedside, the depiction is hauntingly picturesque in its … well, horrific execution. You just know he didn’t make that up. Somewhere – this exists. And scary as this might be to believe – it’s not in Ohio.
(Side note one: Drinking game rules: Take a shot every time you read the word fluffer & Side note two: Ohio has actually produced much more maniacally creative artistes than I previously thought – so take another shot.)
Bubba, however, is really James Cromer – and this is where I began to fall in love with the little Crome-man, as I called him in my head. You should see this man’s resume – holy moo – it’s on par with mine. Yeah, didn’t see that one coming, did you? Never thought I would say that on the internet, huh? Well so there, I said and now it’s out there and I feel a little broken inside, but it’s cool. Competition is good for me. See you soon, Bubba.
Long story short, Bubba is a writer. An academic. And a lawyer. Bubba not only passed the bar but he also moves among the elite of the South Carolina House of Representatives. I have the funny idea that if I kept reading the Bubba CV it might also include Grand Poobah Universe Ruler Fear The Bubba. I could say more, but the following director’s synopsis and statement accurately acknowledge the sum of my experiences with The Hills Have Thighs. Bubba is right – we have been warned.