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F13: Now, let’s go die!: A Review of the Friday the 13th Remake

By Rhonda Baughman

As a critic, I consider myself to be not hyper-critical, but logical and truthful: at least 95% of the time. I reserve 2.5% for statements rendered in order to avoid hurt feelings and I reserve 2.5% for when something an issue truly pisses me off. When the former occurs, I do my best to find tactful verbiage and when the latter emerges, I’ll do my best to make the subject question its own existence. (See Milan Kundera’s Nobody Will Laugh)
Also as a critic and avid film goer, I will tell you I enjoy many different types of films: different – good and different – bad. I try to observe the strengths and weaknesses, and I can see the relevancy, or potential to be relevant, in all aspects and genres of films, from the scholarly deconstruction and analysis realm to my fellow writer (and Micro-Shock webmaster) Nick Peron’s burning desire to don a Sgt. Kabukiman mask and drink the sweat from Lloyd Kauffman’s pits. I get it. Film touches many of us. We touch film. Many touch themselves while watching film. It’s all good. And yes, I did rush out to see the midnight showing of My Bloody Valentine 3D , because I knew I wanted to hang out with friends, wear goofy, oversized glasses, and settle in to observe a film that knew exactly what it was and what it was for. (Which is …what I wish Rob Zombie’s Halloween knew … )
The new F13 offering comes close to awareness, but died for me about 30 minutes in: I just became fidgety. I didn’t love it, I didn’t dislike it, can’t really say I liked it, thus my disposition is one of general ambivalence. True to my own code, I will give several strengths: dialogue, Derek Mears, stage setting, props, atmosphere. Major weaknesses overrun the production, however: paving, editing, flow, character development, and conclusion strategy. Mercifully, the biggest cliché of them all is kept to a minimum: the “Wheee! Let’s go die!” moment.
I speak specifically of the horror genre, mind you, and even with pattern recognition there are always exceptions. For other genres we might call this: character evolvement (drama), the “tyranny of the moment” (Payne, DeVol, & Smith, 2005) (independent/art-house), violent slapstick (comedy), posturing (martial arts) – and the list can go on … The “let’s go die” moment, once skillfully articulated by horror author Douglas E. Winter in a graduate seminar of mine, has become the catalyst for the horror genre’s (perhaps slasher to be more specific) plot development.
For length’s sake, we will disperse with the ability to “let’s go die” by supporting characters – they were almost meant to – nor will I discuss any momentary lapse of reason or judgment, hysterical or otherwise, nor a major character’s inability to correctly assess the severity of a situation. I harbor no ill will against humans; they do not have instincts and many have never received the proper training regarding self-preservation. An example of the “let’s go die” phenomenon in F13 I do take issue with, although ambivalently as I mentioned previously: main cutie Jared Padalecki, quietly observes Jason unceremoniously dump a headless corpse, then says, “Let’s go follow him.” Another: Arlen Escarpeta – technically supporting, but can be discussed as main character since he is the only African-American in the film and therefore will have undue attention drawn to him - (let us not debate about the inclusion of racial/ethnic minorities – it’s a damned if you do, damned if you don’t, and I don’t even care argument in my world), must retrieve his Asian friend (Aaron Yoo), but only takes a frying pan as a weapon. Ignore the fact this stereotypically makes the one black guy in the film look like an idiot, as opposed to the martyr he really is. He is leaving the premises, pan in hand, in order to die …
As stated previously, these “let’s go die” moments are few and far between, when in actuality other slasher brethren have so many of those moments, many viewers take it with a lump of mud in their eyes. You mean, people don’t really act like this? Other aspects F13 could have included, but mercifully did not: the bumbling, Neanderthal cop. Way too many movies have this angle – and while I am not citing this review as Go Team Law Enforcement, you don’t get to wear a uniform by being a moron. Futhermore, the highly unlikable rich, white boy does grab a useable weapon in the face of danger, attempts to use the phone, and does run after a car driving by. I’ll give the writers and director some kudos there.
Perhaps I have been watching films or too long, but while antsying my way through F13, I could almost see, through a very blurry lens, the hodgepodge of films, resembling increments of puzzled, yellowing lace, the scriptwriters have, most likely unconsciously, pulled from, such as Hostel , The Blair Witch Project , Cabin Fever , April Fool's Day , Sleepaway Camp … among others. The majority of this list (I’ll not indicate which one I believe exempt) all contain the common denominator intrinsic to the “let’s go die” moment: truly odious characters.
While I enjoyed watching the film from an antique standpoint, both in terms of its external relic nature throughout the last almost 30 years and for the neat, antiquated objects within the film. But much like when I antique shop, I can only breathe in all that ancient dust for so long, before I want to return to the fresh air again. I love it, but too much makes me feel grimy and stale. Quite similar to my overall disposition at the end of F13, and my position was solidified at the end of the film – which wasn’t even really an end. That would have made sense. Instead, just in case, we leave room for a sequel or nine.
My little review is not going to change the dynamics of the film industry, but hopefully writing it, and reading it as you are, we might be inspired to go do something else, anything else, when another uninspired rehash hits the big screen. I refuse to believe we have hit the pinnacle of cinematic horror achievements.

References
Payne, R.K., DeVol P.E., & Smith, T.D. (2005). Bridges out of poverty. Highlands, TX: aha! Process.

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		F13: Now, let’s go die!: A Review of the Friday the 13th Remake By Rhonda Baughman As a critic, I consider myself to be not hyper-critical, but logical and truthful: at least 95% of the time. I reserve 2.5% for statements rendered in order to avoid hurt feelings and I reserve 2.5% for when something an issue truly pisses me off. When the former occurs, I do my best to find tactful verbiage and when the latter emerges, I’ll do my best to make the subject question its own existence. (See Milan Kundera’s Nobody Will Laugh) Also as a critic and avid film goer, I will tell you I enjoy many different types of films: different – good and different – bad. I try to observe the strengths and weaknesses, and I can see the relevancy, or potential to be relevant, in all aspects and genres of films, from the scholarly deconstruction and analysis realm to my fellow writer (and Micro-Shock webmaster) Nick Peron’s burning desire to don a Sgt. Kabukiman mask and drink the sweat from Lloyd Kauffman’s pits. I get it. Film touches many of us. We touch film. Many touch themselves while watching film. It’s all good. And yes, I did rush out to see the midnight showing of My Bloody Valentine 3D , because I knew I wanted to hang out with friends, wear goofy, oversized glasses, and settle in to observe a film that knew exactly what it was and what it was for. (Which is …what I wish Rob Zombie’s Halloween knew … ) The new F13 offering comes close to awareness, but died for me about 30 minutes in: I just became fidgety. I didn’t love it, I didn’t dislike it, can’t really say I liked it, thus my disposition is one of general ambivalence. True to my own code, I will give several strengths: dialogue, Derek Mears, stage setting, props, atmosphere. Major weaknesses overrun the production, however: paving, editing, flow, character development, and conclusion strategy. Mercifully, the biggest cliché of them all is kept to a minimum: the “Wheee! Let’s go die!” moment. I speak specifically of the horror genre, mind you, and even with pattern recognition there are always exceptions. For other genres we might call this: character evolvement (drama), the “tyranny of the moment” (Payne, DeVol, & Smith, 2005) (independent/art-house), violent slapstick (comedy), posturing (martial arts) – and the list can go on … The “let’s go die” moment, once skillfully articulated by horror author Douglas E. Winter in a graduate seminar of mine, has become the catalyst for the horror genre’s (perhaps slasher to be more specific) plot development. For length’s sake, we will disperse with the ability to “let’s go die” by supporting characters – they were almost meant to – nor will I discuss any momentary lapse of reason or judgment, hysterical or otherwise, nor a major character’s inability to correctly assess the severity of a situation. I harbor no ill will against humans; they do not have instincts and many have never received the proper training regarding self-preservation. An example of the “let’s go die” phenomenon in F13 I do take issue with, although ambivalently as I mentioned previously: main cutie Jared Padalecki, quietly observes Jason unceremoniously dump a headless corpse, then says, “Let’s go follow him.” Another: Arlen Escarpeta – technically supporting, but can be discussed as main character since he is the only African-American in the film and therefore will have undue attention drawn to him - (let us not debate about the inclusion of racial/ethnic minorities – it’s a damned if you do, damned if you don’t, and I don’t even care argument in my world), must retrieve his Asian friend (Aaron Yoo), but only takes a frying pan as a weapon. Ignore the fact this stereotypically makes the one black guy in the film look like an idiot, as opposed to the martyr he really is. He is leaving the premises, pan in hand, in order to die … As stated previously, these “let’s go die” moments are few and far between, when in actuality other slasher brethren have so many of those moments, many viewers take it with a lump of mud in their eyes. You mean, people don’t really act like this? Other aspects F13 could have included, but mercifully did not: the bumbling, Neanderthal cop. Way too many movies have this angle – and while I am not citing this review as Go Team Law Enforcement, you don’t get to wear a uniform by being a moron. Futhermore, the highly unlikable rich, white boy does grab a useable weapon in the face of danger, attempts to use the phone, and does run after a car driving by. I’ll give the writers and director some kudos there. Perhaps I have been watching films or too long, but while antsying my way through F13, I could almost see, through a very blurry lens, the hodgepodge of films, resembling increments of puzzled, yellowing lace, the scriptwriters have, most likely unconsciously, pulled from, such as Hostel , The Blair Witch Project , Cabin Fever , April Fool's Day , Sleepaway Camp … among others. The majority of this list (I’ll not indicate which one I believe exempt) all contain the common denominator intrinsic to the “let’s go die” moment: truly odious characters. While I enjoyed watching the film from an antique standpoint, both in terms of its external relic nature throughout the last almost 30 years and for the neat, antiquated objects within the film. But much like when I antique shop, I can only breathe in all that ancient dust for so long, before I want to return to the fresh air again. I love it, but too much makes me feel grimy and stale. Quite similar to my overall disposition at the end of F13, and my position was solidified at the end of the film – which wasn’t even really an end. That would have made sense. Instead, just in case, we leave room for a sequel or nine. My little review is not going to change the dynamics of the film industry, but hopefully writing it, and reading it as you are, we might be inspired to go do something else, anything else, when another uninspired rehash hits the big screen. I refuse to believe we have hit the pinnacle of cinematic horror achievements. References Payne, R.K., DeVol P.E., & Smith, T.D. (2005). Bridges out of poverty. Highlands, TX: aha! Process.		<p> </p> <p> </p>
		Most Items We Have Reviewed and Commented On Are Available Through Amazon.com. If you want to pick them up for yourself, please don't hesitate to do so through this link below, proceeds on any sales will go towards the operation of this website: