So a few weeks back I did a review of a little movie called Mulva: Zombie Ass-Kicker by independent film maker, Chris Seaver, and his cadre of devoted, and quite possibly insane, group at Low Budget Pictures, who have made such films as Filthy McNasty, Quest For The Egg Salad, and Meaty Labia (I have one of those in my fridge, by the way.)

Well it just so happened, not long after I wrote up my review for Mulva: Zombie Ass-Kicker that Low Budget Pictures was just in the process of releasing a sequel of said movie, titled Mulva 2: Kill Teenape. Having enjoyed the first Mulva film and vowing that someday -- SOME DAY GOD DAMN IT -- I would get the rest of the LBP library, I thought that acquiring a copy of Mulva 2 would be a very good place to start... Mostly because it was the most recent release, and The Seavage was promoting the fuck out of it, and well, he pouts in the most endearing way when he doesn't get his own way that makes you buckle under the pressure (I assume as much anyway, as I have never met the honorable Chris Seavage... However deep in my secret heart I know this is true... Possibly... Maybe... Ah you know what, fuck it, you people don't understand me.. YOU NEVER DO! I HATE YOU AND I WISH YOU WEREN'T MY PARENTS!!!)

At first glance, one will notice that the packaging is spoofing the Kill Bill films, and congratulations captain retard, you are absolutely correct, what gave it away to you detective? The yellow on black cover? The fact that Debbie Rochon is wearing the same outfit that Uma Thurman wore in the aforementioned Quentin Tarantino movie? Or did you figure it out when you flipped the movie around the back and read the description where it plainly says that it is a Kill Bill spoof? Well never mind, you figured it out, that's all that matters.

What is important, at least if you are a horn dog that watches a movie only for the attractive female leads in the film, is that the girl on the cover of this movie cover is actually the girl who plays in the film. Unlike the original Mulva which sported a hot chick in a school girls outfit and a big gun, was not in the film, but instead the chunky and less attractive Missy Donatuti playing the role of Mulva. So for those of you who care about how attractive your female characters are in movies, you'll be happy to know that the movie stars Debbie Rochon (who is an excellent actress, and yes, she is attractive. Thanks for pointing out the obvious) who starred in such films as Tromeo & Juliette, Terror Firmer, and ummmm... Dead Clowns (Thanks IMDB!).

When last we left Mulva, she had successfully kicked zombie ass with the help of her friends Bonejack, Teenape and ummm... A girl with a really big axe (sorry I wasn't paying attention) and was thanked by the mayor of Tromaville (who looks suspiciously like co-founder of Troma Studios and creator of the Toxic Avenger, Lloyd Kauffman...) all was well and everyone was happy, hell there was even dancing, how could you possibly want more? What more could Mulva do? This was the bestest, most 80's, and Ska-tastic ending one could ever hope for! What the hell happened?

Well, (as explained in Mulva 2) Teenape was sour that Mulva got all the attention and fame for defeating the zombies, and felt that he should have gotten all the attention, because he's Teenape. Which in some quarters is all the reason in the world one needs.

Teenape then hires a crack team of commandos (Okay, so it's not so much a team of commando's that qualify as a "crack team", but a group of Teenape admirers and groupies.) the attackers leave Mulva for dead, however she remains in a coma for five years.

When Mulva awakes she isn't the ugly, chunky, four eyed dork with a lisp anymore, instead she's a busty vixen who you'd pay a thousand bucks just to sniff her underwear a few times. That's right, Mulva is hot as hell (not that this should be your central motivation for watching the film, as I said above whilst I was trying to hide my massive erection because of the mere mention of attractive women) and she is full of a righteous rage!

Much like "The Bride" in Kill Bill, Mulva goes on a rampage of murder, and chaos to get revenge on the one person who did her wrong: Bill.. No wait, Teenape. The only thing this movie has that the Kill Bill movies did not are: Comedy, and heart. Yes folks. Mulva 2 has a lot of heart. I'm not going to get into that huge rant about independent cinema like I did in my review of Mulva: Zombie Ass Kicker, if you want to read it again go read it there... But those of you who already read it, know what my stance on it is.

Hollywood Movies = Soulless and bad

Independent Cinema = From the heart, and created for art and love of the medium, even if your use of said medium is to show boobs and fill it with dick and fart jokes.

Our hero ladies and gentlemen!.

Although you cannot see the victim, the interpretive dancer behind shows the audience the swarm victims pain through dance.

"That's the last time you try to skull fuck me without your glasses on. "

"I've got my eye on you! Yuk yuk yuk yuk! Get it?? EYE!!!"

"Well you should have thought of that before we left the house."

"I said I wanted you to tease my hair not pull it out!"

"And this is scar here is from when that pig exploded in my hands. How was I supposed to know it was full of C-4?"