Degrassi Talks - Part 2
A retrospective by Nick Peron
Degrassi Talks: On Drugs
About the Episode:
Their first take on the whole Degrassi Talks thing is on drugs, and everybody from Ronald Regan, to Mr. Mackey tells me that drugs are bad. Even the arcade machine down the street from my place at the pizza parlor tells me that winners don't use drugs (I never win at video games, so I guess I'm in the clear there.) In this episode of Degrassi talks, hosted by Siluck Saysanasy (who played Yick) they talk about drugs. And they do it by talking to kids about drugs! So sit back and see some 80's nightmares of kids talking about drugs. I think the funniest moments are when they talk to kids on the street about drug useage. Some kids spout the token "Drugs are stupid" that have been beaten into them from watching Saturday Morning speicasl
There is Cathy (18) from the Yukon who used drugs very innocently and ended up getting caught up with 14, 15, 16 and even 17 year olds (OH MY GOD!) who did drugs, like inject cocaine, and do LSD. Because they were all part of the party crowd! Look out! To give Cathy some credit here, I can't really blame her for her apparent drug use, has anyone here been to the Yukon? Anyone? Last time the Yukon had anything interesting to offer people used to say "Thar be gold in them mountains!", the Yukon is like a more depressing, Canadian version of Alaska.
We also meet Keith (22) who started using drugs when a roommate of his literally tossed him a chunk of hasheesh, prompting his interviewer to laugh, I'd laugh too if somebody told me hash was the drug that got them hooked. So you got hooked on the most pussified drug out there? Give me a break, come back to me when you're hooked on smack and we'll talk about addiction.
We next meet Matt (22 as well... Coincidence?) who is currently in lock down because he did drugs to escape his problems and be with popular people. Got addicted to crack and got locked up for a number of drug related charges. His hobbies include smoking, looking sleepy eyed, reminissing about his drug use, feeling remourseful, beating up his folks and talking to guys with mullets.
We also meet Rita (17) who goes off on a laundry list about being in a family of drug addicts and lists off a ton of drugs she's done. In listening to her testemony, it sounds like they needed to make a Degrassi Talks episode on compulsive lieing, because if this girl was ever on a drug stronger than asperine, then I'm a Benedictine Monk. She goes through her interview hardly able to keep a straight face while explaining her heroin addict parents beating her and her siblings up. Gee you think that is something somebody would recount with a little less good humor and mixed facts?
Finally we meet Brian (23) who is a former solvant abuser. See kids, if you sniff glue, or paint, or even permanent markers you can get high you too are a drug abuser. Brian really liked to sniff paint until finally one day he and some friends of his locked themselves in a house that was sealed up and sniffed nothing but glue until he almost died. Brian went on to become a youth guide for his tribe... So I don't really feel right making fun of him because he seems like an all right guy, he seems pretty nice, and the last thing the Native Peoples of my land need is some jack-ass white eyes making fun of them.
But I will make fun of this guy: Shawn (17) who used to sniff glue. Shawn used to sniff glue a lot. The only reason why he felt bad about his glue sniffing problem is that he was afraid people were going to make fun of him for not being able to afford real drugs. Top that off with the fact that this guy is dressed like a reject from a rap video inspired by Hee Haw
They also turn things around and identify that our host Siluck is addicted to... wait for it.. wait for it... Nicotine! Oh wow Yick, way to appeal to the masses! Going up to a heroin addict and going "Hey man, I smoke a pack a day, I feel your pain man!" Speaking from experience, smoking is not a big deal and I've managed to kick the habit without any effort, so bite it Yick Yu.
Finally they introduce us to James (17) who is addicted to drinking, on top of being able to be re-used for the episode on alcohol, James started drinking at a very young age. We also meet his sister Cathy (20) who thinks that people who use drugs and don't think they're hurting other people are "not educated" about it. Because you know, being "not not educated" means your smart about drugs hurting people. Thanks for the insight grammar whiz!
The Most Memorable Victim:
The most memorable victim in this Degrassi Talks episode is Shawn, I'm sorry man, but you are fucking hillarious. It's fine enough to be ashamed of useing drugs, but it's pretty sad when you're ashamed to be on them because people will think you're too poor to use real drugs. If anything, I think people should be making fun of your sense of style. Although I have to admit, when he said he was afraid people were going to call him a "Squish Head" that was pretty funny, because I think Shawn's head is probably very squishable. In fact somebody should have done it a while ago. The funny thing about Shawn is the fact that he's a bit of an enigma in this episode because all of the kids interviewed have a bit of an epilogue at the end where they talk about how they beat their habit and are making their life better. Shawn apparently didn't have a heart breaking tale of kicking the habit in the face of advercity. Is it possible that 30-something year old Shawn is still to this day sniffing glue? Does he still wear those awful over-alls?
Random Kid Who Likely Made His Life a Fucking Mess:
I'm going to have to go for the kid in the neon wind-breaker with the glasses that said that people do drugs because of "peer pressure" to fit in. It strikes me as a really funny, because he appears to be the pointdexter nerd that would never fit in no matter what. Even if he did end up doing drugs, kids would still dump his books in the hall and make fun of his ability to over achieve. Today, I picture this kid is probably still living at home, has never felt the caress of a woman, and possibly argues the finer plot points of Star Trek: Voyager
Degrassi Talks: On Sexuality
This episode opens with one of the Degrassi girls talking about how she was a late bloomer when it came to having her period. Congradulations folks, you've stepped on the hallowed ground of sexuality, or "How I got tricked into watching a Degrassi video about puberty!" This one is hosted by Stacie Mistysyn (Who played Caitlyn on Degrassi) who I'm sure, was well aware of the fact that most teenaged boys who watched Degrassi were having very sexual thoughts about her while going through puberty. Watching this episode, I wonder if she had to get them to stop the camera because she couldn't conceal the shudder she'd get talking to boys about puberty when they were probably reminissing about jerking off to the slumber party episode of Degrassi.
Now this episode focuses on a number of Degrassi characters talking about their disasterious adventures in puberty, and they also talk to some gay people to get that late 80's early 90's acceptance bit in there too. So if you want to see Snake talk about how his voice cracked during puberty, or Joey talking about his insecurity of being a short, short man this is your pot of gold my friend. What about hearing one of the twins talk about the horrors of being flat chested? That toot your horn? Or Tessa talking about her frist bra?
How about, hearing SHAWN talk about sex!?!? If hearing this numb nuts talk about sniffing glue didn't totally horrify you, just wait until you see him talk about going through puberty and having wet dreams! He has some of the most frightening facial expressions I've ever seen in my life (as pictured below...)
If that wasn't horrifying enough, we go from talking about wet dreams to periods. Surprisingly enough, this is the less creepy part of the episode because they don't get into the grisley details. Listening to Tessa ramble on about how she wanted to have her period
The next topic of masturbation, which of course has most people laughing, and one guy even saying "No" and crossing his fingers. Listening to people talk about how it'll ruin your chances of having a kid, to getting hairy palms is fucking hillarious. Man. Either there were a lot of hypocrites or a lot of pent up people back then.
Oh and as a final note we swing into the whole sexual attraction portion of the show, which is as much fun as you can guess it can be. We watch as we see Snake stumble with answering the question about asking girls out, watch as he gets all embarassed and blushy about his insecurities and how he waits for girls to make the first move. Then Joey going on about dancing with girls that are taller than him.
To punctuate this last romp into going through puberty is that they talk to some gay and lesbian people, because well -- there aren't any gay or lesbian characters on the original Degrassi, except for Snake's older brother (a minor guest character) and possibly Miss Avery. We meet Anthony and Bentley two gay guys both in their 20's reminissing about being gay. I think the most shocking thing about this portion is some of the kids on the street comments about putting all the gays on an island and dropping a bomb, or how it's morally wrong. I hope that these kids at some point after saying such bigotted bullshit got curb stomped at a Pride Festival. But alas it's a sign of the times.
Finally we close with Stacie's sister Kim, who is a lesbian, commenting about her sister being in an episode of Degrassi where her character struggles with the question of if she is gay or not. Then the go into talking about homophobia, and how bad it is. Then they backtrack to love.
My Favorite Captions in This Episode:
Since there is no "victims" per se in this episode, I'm going to take the time to talk about the captions in this particular episode. Every episode of Degrassi Talks has some sort of statistical or health quote from either Health Canada, or some other reliable source that keeps statistics on things that fuck up teenagers. This episode is rife with quotes by various organizations regarding puberty. It's a tie breaker as to which one I find the most amusing. The first one is about spontaneous erections from the Toronto Hassle Free Clinic where they have to explain what might cause them. Tight clothing and nervousness? No really?
The other one I love too is the one about masturbation. You got to love how they cover all their bases on the whole masturbation debate. It's normal for all people, but it's also normal to not. Health & Welfare Canada sure is doing it's best to not make sexual deviants feel guilty, but at the same time not piss off all the churchies. Great job!
The Kid Who's Going to Grow Up With the Most Sexual Problems:
I nominate this kid to have the biggest problems. Somebody who is so insecure about masturbation that he has to try to hide his face and "x" to the camera and chant "no no no" in regards to the practice is going to have some serious problems. I forsee this kid either saving himself for marrage, hopping into the sack and not having a single idea what he's doing, last 30 seconds and live the rest of his life a miserable wreck. He'll never be able to please his wife, and all because he thought it was wrong to touch himself.
I also figure it doesn't stop with masturbation either, I bet this kid never even touched his penis to clean it. Could you imagine if he's not cirumsized? That's like 20 years of crystalized pee under that foreskin.
Well I think I'm done for now, there are four more of these Degrassi Talks things left, but people who are familiar with my previous rambling about Degrassi on my very own website can tell you, the more I go on reviewing Degrassi stuff, I start to go insane. So I'll stop here, and it gives me more material for another installment when I'm hard on... er hard up for ideas.
If you want to check out and of these two episodes of Degrassi Talks, or the rest of the series, they are available as bonus features on the first two Degrassi Jr. High DVD box sets, or in the complete Degrassi Jr. High collection. Which is available at record and movie stores everywhere, or if you like to support public television, you can get it directly from PBS.
