Micro-Shock Cinema

Episode 05 - Stage Fright:

The Characters:

Caitlin Ryan:

When I said that the kids of Degrassi were subject to tragedies on a daily basis I wasn't speaking lightly. You see, these kids aren't even safe from neurological disorders. Enter Caitlin, aspiring actress, activist and got a nasty case of the epilepsy. We here at Dorkswithoutfaces are sensitive to those with this disorder, hence the blinking text and background. You're welcome.

Kathleen Mead:

You know I think it's kind of funny that a child of an alcoholic has the last name "mead". But anyway, All you need to know abut Kathleen is that she's a bitch, a prude, and apparently doesn't get sick because she eats a healthy diet (well at least until she develops that eating disorder in season 3 that is. I bet that opened a few flood gates for her.)

Melanie Brodie:

She's a wench.

The Plot:

The main subject of today's episode is Epilepsy. We find out early in the episode that Caitlin has it and had her first episode during the break, and now has to wear a medic alert bracelet and take pills to stop her from having seizures.

Of course, as any level headed teenager of her age would do, she hides her medic alert bracelet and doesn't take her medication. Because you know, god forbid anyone at school find out that you have a neurological disorder. Well then again, I suppose people would be a little leery about letting you sit down on their good furniture if you were prone to go into convulsions that would make your bladder release and make you foam at the mouth. So perhaps her wanting to keep it a secret is highly justified. I mean the alternative would be that she'd only get invites to grandma's house because grandma has those plastic covers all over everything.

Caitlin wants to get a the lead role in the play "Loves Fresh Face" (the prequel to Lloyd Kaufman's award winning film "Battle of Loves Return") in the lead role, a role that Kathleen is also trying out for. This of course is a moral cross-roads for Caitlin as she can't stand the idea of losing the lead role to Kathleen!

I can understand that, I mean, if I were up staged by Kathleen that would be the kiss of death to my movie career. In fact, I do believe that if something like this were to happen to somebody the only gigs they'll be able to get would be tooth paste advertisements and direct to video DVD's that star Polly Shore.

Anyway, it also turns out that Caitlin's friend Suzy is having a slumber party and everyone is invited. Well "everyone" being Kathleen, Caitlin, Melanie, and a previously nameless East Indian girl. They have a sayance to try and summon a dead dog named Chester (who the fuck names their dog chester?) and enjoy cookies. However Caitlin has a seizure and totally harshes everybody's mellow. You bitch Caitlin!

So the very next day at school she's worried that everybody will make fun of her, but nobody does except that Kathleen is bad mouthing her and figuring she can catch Epilepsy from a pop bottle (No, that's Super-AIDS you idiot.)

Anyway, the results of the auditions come out and Kathleen gets the lead role, and Caitlin gets the role of the slave. Not wanting to be Kathleen's slave she uses her Epilepsy as an excuse to drop out of the play. I once knew this kid that used his condition to get away with everything he wanted. Except for he never had epilepsy and he only got hit by a car and wanted to wear this stupid lime green baseball cap in class. He said it was to cover the horrible scar on his scalp (which had long healed, but any opportunity to say "well I have to wear the cap because of my scar" you can bet he milked it for all it's worth.) You know that people like this are totally lame and even though everyone knows their full of shit the teachers are always uncomfortable saying anything to avoid an angry call from a "concerned" parent.

Anyway, this causes some drama, people exchange harsh words. Friendships are torn asunder blah blah blah. Eventually Caitlin decides to stop being such a pussy she swallows her pride and takes part in the play and everyone lives happily ever after until the next Degrassi related tragic event.

The Sub-Plot -

The sub-plot involves Michelle and Alexa trying to figure out ways to get Michelle out of giving a speech in front of the entire class because Michelle is shy. This doesn't work and of course she ends up giving her speech, and it's about being shy, and everyone loves it.

I remember a girl in my elementary school did the same exact thing during public speaking, in fact looking back on that particular moment, it seems that her speech was word for word the exact same speech, or at least inspired by this epic Degrassi sub-plot.

Defining Moments :

1.) Melanie telling everyone her role in the new play by casually saying "I'm a wench!"

2.) Alexa suggesting that Michelle tell Mr. Radich that the reason she can't do her speech is because she's having her period and her cramps are really bad.

3.) Nancy saying the words "I had a friend at summer camp that had Epilepsy." It's funny because we know Nancy is fooling nobody with that "friend at summer camp" story. We all know she doesn't have any friends.

Finally the defining image from this episode:

You know it's one thing to be riding your bike around Degrassi Jr. High, in fact it seems you can't be outside anywhere in the Degrassi world without seeing some cast member farting around with a bike in the background. They're either riding them or parking them against the school wall or sitting on one talking to people. Or putting one up against a tree, putting on a sailor hat and playing tag.

I think the defining image of today's episode has to be the fact that we see our main-man Eyebrow kid riding around on a GIRLS pink bike. I don't even know how to comment on this one. I mean seriously. A pink bike?

There is no way he was not aware of the fact that he was riding a pink bike. I find it impossible to believe that they were so hard up for bikes the only one they could offer eyebrow kid for the shot was a pink girls bike.

I hope this wasn't some smart ass film makers idea of a background gag and that there is some deep rooted psychosis that made eyebrow kid pick the pink bike, that has more potential for hilarity.

Attack of the Background Characters!

Nameless Hindu Girl:

This episode also saw two previously established background characters attempting to pull a Nancy and go from being background filler to trying to be part of the plots. The first is the Nameless Hindu Girl. Well okay, she does have a name, but I just never took the time to note it in the junk bin that is my brain.

Her biggest contribution to this episode is trying to be in every shot where her character is in. She doesn't even add anything to the plot, she just stands around, makes a few rye comments and then eats cookies while Caitlin is having a seizure. Way to go, dick.

Fat Chinese Kid Come Back!

And finally, something that the experts said would never happen, they gave the fat chinese kid (as last mentioned in my epic review of the Season 1 Degrassi episode "The Great Race") another speaking role. Only now Fat Chinese kid is not quite so fat, and he's actually quite dull.

Damn it No-Longer-Fat Chinese kid, what's your problem? I mean, you go from eating carrots and holding up your finger signifying your "number one-edness" and what happens to you? You lose all that baby fat in a puberty induced growth sprit, and give boring speeches about how much you enjoy watching TV.

If this kid was around today he'd probably be writing speeches about how much he loves World of Warcraft. God damn it Chinese kid you make me sick.

And the Winner of This Episodes "Best Background Character" Goes to...:

This kid I will forever refer to as CROM . All in capitals. Why do I name him CROM? Well the hair is the first thing to point out. It's the kind of hair like every clean cut barbarian character from He-Man had. And well, for some reason I associate that with people saying "Crom" in those lame Conan stories.

What gender is CROM? Man? Woman? One can't really tell, CROM actually looks kind of like a freakish dark skinned Michael Jackson. What does CROM do? Sit in the background and quietly does home work, while dreaming of the time when the bell will ring so that he can return to the mystic lane of Choka to battle the seven headed Dragon of Argos.

And when I'm talking about CROM fighting seven headed dragons he's not doing with a 20 sided dice, CROM is fighting that motherfucker with a broad sword. Don't mess with CROM man. When CROM wears his furry under wear you know he means business.

The Award For "best poster" for this episode goes to...:

The fact that Degrassi has a Latin Club when there are (so far as I can tell) no Latin people that attend Degrassi. Now is this a Latin club for Latino's or is this a Latin class where people talk about how much they love the Latin language?

Well I suppose one Latin phrase is common among the Degrassi kids: Deux Ex Machina.

But anyway, why a Latin class? Were Latino's or Latin enthusiasts feeling marginalizes at Degrassi? So much so that they had to form their own club? Is this some sort of resistance movement that will rise up and take down the powers that be that keep the Latin speaker down? One must wonder.

Most Items We Have Reviewed and Commented On Are Available Through Amazon.com. If you want to pick them up for yourself, please don't hesitate to do so through this link below, proceeds on any sales will go towards the operation of this website:


		A Review of the Second Season of Degrassi Junior High A Review by Nick Peron Previous Episode 05 - Stage Fright: The Characters: Caitlin Ryan: When I said that the kids of Degrassi were subject to tragedies on a daily basis I wasn't speaking lightly. You see, these kids aren't even safe from neurological disorders. Enter Caitlin, aspiring actress, activist and got a nasty case of the epilepsy. We here at Dorkswithoutfaces are sensitive to those with this disorder, hence the blinking text and background. You're welcome. Kathleen Mead: You know I think it's kind of funny that a child of an alcoholic has the last name "mead". But anyway, All you need to know abut Kathleen is that she's a bitch, a prude, and apparently doesn't get sick because she eats a healthy diet (well at least until she develops that eating disorder in season 3 that is. I bet that opened a few flood gates for her.) Melanie Brodie: She's a wench. The Plot: The main subject of today's episode is Epilepsy. We find out early in the episode that Caitlin has it and had her first episode during the break, and now has to wear a medic alert bracelet and take pills to stop her from having seizures. Of course, as any level headed teenager of her age would do, she hides her medic alert bracelet and doesn't take her medication. Because you know, god forbid anyone at school find out that you have a neurological disorder. Well then again, I suppose people would be a little leery about letting you sit down on their good furniture if you were prone to go into convulsions that would make your bladder release and make you foam at the mouth. So perhaps her wanting to keep it a secret is highly justified. I mean the alternative would be that she'd only get invites to grandma's house because grandma has those plastic covers all over everything. Caitlin wants to get a the lead role in the play "Loves Fresh Face" (the prequel to Lloyd Kaufman's award winning film "Battle of Loves Return") in the lead role, a role that Kathleen is also trying out for. This of course is a moral cross-roads for Caitlin as she can't stand the idea of losing the lead role to Kathleen! I can understand that, I mean, if I were up staged by Kathleen that would be the kiss of death to my movie career. In fact, I do believe that if something like this were to happen to somebody the only gigs they'll be able to get would be tooth paste advertisements and direct to video DVD's that star Polly Shore. Anyway, it also turns out that Caitlin's friend Suzy is having a slumber party and everyone is invited. Well "everyone" being Kathleen, Caitlin, Melanie, and a previously nameless East Indian girl. They have a sayance to try and summon a dead dog named Chester (who the fuck names their dog chester?) and enjoy cookies. However Caitlin has a seizure and totally harshes everybody's mellow. You bitch Caitlin! So the very next day at school she's worried that everybody will make fun of her, but nobody does except that Kathleen is bad mouthing her and figuring she can catch Epilepsy from a pop bottle (No, that's Super-AIDS you idiot.) Anyway, the results of the auditions come out and Kathleen gets the lead role, and Caitlin gets the role of the slave. Not wanting to be Kathleen's slave she uses her Epilepsy as an excuse to drop out of the play. I once knew this kid that used his condition to get away with everything he wanted. Except for he never had epilepsy and he only got hit by a car and wanted to wear this stupid lime green baseball cap in class. He said it was to cover the horrible scar on his scalp (which had long healed, but any opportunity to say "well I have to wear the cap because of my scar" you can bet he milked it for all it's worth.) You know that people like this are totally lame and even though everyone knows their full of shit the teachers are always uncomfortable saying anything to avoid an angry call from a "concerned" parent. Anyway, this causes some drama, people exchange harsh words. Friendships are torn asunder blah blah blah. Eventually Caitlin decides to stop being such a pussy she swallows her pride and takes part in the play and everyone lives happily ever after until the next Degrassi related tragic event. The Sub-Plot - The sub-plot involves Michelle and Alexa trying to figure out ways to get Michelle out of giving a speech in front of the entire class because Michelle is shy. This doesn't work and of course she ends up giving her speech, and it's about being shy, and everyone loves it. I remember a girl in my elementary school did the same exact thing during public speaking, in fact looking back on that particular moment, it seems that her speech was word for word the exact same speech, or at least inspired by this epic Degrassi sub-plot. Defining Moments : 1.) Melanie telling everyone her role in the new play by casually saying "I'm a wench!" 2.) Alexa suggesting that Michelle tell Mr. Radich that the reason she can't do her speech is because she's having her period and her cramps are really bad. 3.) Nancy saying the words "I had a friend at summer camp that had Epilepsy." It's funny because we know Nancy is fooling nobody with that "friend at summer camp" story. We all know she doesn't have any friends. Finally the defining image from this episode: You know it's one thing to be riding your bike around Degrassi Jr. High, in fact it seems you can't be outside anywhere in the Degrassi world without seeing some cast member farting around with a bike in the background. They're either riding them or parking them against the school wall or sitting on one talking to people. Or putting one up against a tree, putting on a sailor hat and playing tag. I think the defining image of today's episode has to be the fact that we see our main-man Eyebrow kid riding around on a GIRLS pink bike. I don't even know how to comment on this one. I mean seriously. A pink bike? There is no way he was not aware of the fact that he was riding a pink bike. I find it impossible to believe that they were so hard up for bikes the only one they could offer eyebrow kid for the shot was a pink girls bike. I hope this wasn't some smart ass film makers idea of a background gag and that there is some deep rooted psychosis that made eyebrow kid pick the pink bike, that has more potential for hilarity. Attack of the Background Characters! Nameless Hindu Girl: This episode also saw two previously established background characters attempting to pull a Nancy and go from being background filler to trying to be part of the plots. The first is the Nameless Hindu Girl. Well okay, she does have a name, but I just never took the time to note it in the junk bin that is my brain. Her biggest contribution to this episode is trying to be in every shot where her character is in. She doesn't even add anything to the plot, she just stands around, makes a few rye comments and then eats cookies while Caitlin is having a seizure. Way to go, dick. Fat Chinese Kid Come Back! And finally, something that the experts said would never happen, they gave the fat chinese kid (as last mentioned in my epic review of the Season 1 Degrassi episode "The Great Race") another speaking role. Only now Fat Chinese kid is not quite so fat, and he's actually quite dull. Damn it No-Longer-Fat Chinese kid, what's your problem? I mean, you go from eating carrots and holding up your finger signifying your "number one-edness" and what happens to you? You lose all that baby fat in a puberty induced growth sprit, and give boring speeches about how much you enjoy watching TV. If this kid was around today he'd probably be writing speeches about how much he loves World of Warcraft. God damn it Chinese kid you make me sick. And the Winner of This Episodes "Best Background Character" Goes to...: This kid I will forever refer to as CROM . All in capitals. Why do I name him CROM? Well the hair is the first thing to point out. It's the kind of hair like every clean cut barbarian character from He-Man had. And well, for some reason I associate that with people saying "Crom" in those lame Conan stories. What gender is CROM? Man? Woman? One can't really tell, CROM actually looks kind of like a freakish dark skinned Michael Jackson. What does CROM do? Sit in the background and quietly does home work, while dreaming of the time when the bell will ring so that he can return to the mystic lane of Choka to battle the seven headed Dragon of Argos. And when I'm talking about CROM fighting seven headed dragons he's not doing with a 20 sided dice, CROM is fighting that motherfucker with a broad sword. Don't mess with CROM man. When CROM wears his furry under wear you know he means business. The Award For "best poster" for this episode goes to...: The fact that Degrassi has a Latin Club when there are (so far as I can tell) no Latin people that attend Degrassi. Now is this a Latin club for Latino's or is this a Latin class where people talk about how much they love the Latin language? Well I suppose one Latin phrase is common among the Degrassi kids: Deux Ex Machina. But anyway, why a Latin class? Were Latino's or Latin enthusiasts feeling marginalizes at Degrassi? So much so that they had to form their own club? Is this some sort of resistance movement that will rise up and take down the powers that be that keep the Latin speaker down? One must wonder. Next
		Most Items We Have Reviewed and Commented On Are Available Through Amazon.com. If you want to pick them up for yourself, please don't hesitate to do so through this link below, proceeds on any sales will go towards the operation of this website:

A Review of the Second Season of Degrassi Junior High

Episode 05 - Stage Fright: