A Review of the Second Season of Degrassi Junior High
A Review by Nick Peron
Dorkive Notes: This is the follow up to my first Degrassi review, as you can see, I one again got bored after reviewing only seven episodes.
Opening Statement:
About two years ago I attempted to do a review of the first season of the classic Degrassi Junior High. The question I had posed at the time was "Was it effective at teaching teens the dangers of being a teenager so they don't end up making a fucking mess out of their life?" it was supposed to be a critical review of the entire first series in full.
It soon became a daunting task which slowly drove me to the point of near insanity. I spent eight hours of every day reviewing each episode, picking out every little nuance, every minor detail, counting how many times Nancy appeared on screen, and creating the bizarre photoshop images that adorned each episode reviewed. As the days progressed I lapsed further and further into the realm of insanity, I soon lost all objectivity and then my ability to compose my writing with lucidity failed me and soon I began believing that I was Aurther Kobolowski in a parallel universe in which both he and Yick Yu were secret detectives that get all the really dirty missions too awful for Sherlock Holmes. It was an awful experience that was akin to your life being that of a Mary Sue's fanfic about the cast members of Sonic the Hedgehog all growing penises and fucking each other.
I never finished reviewing all the episodes of the first season, and it stands as the only personal failure in what I would deem as an otherwise perfect existence. Even looking at the first season box set makes me shit my pants in fear. Whenever I close my eyes I see nothing but that upsetting change room scene in the episode "The Great Race." I often wake in chills at night.
It has taken a long time to come to the point where I am now, where I am comfortable with my fears and feel strong enough (As a woman) to tackle the 2nd season of this ground breaking series. Firstly I'd like to thank the miracle work of Dr. Phil McGraw. No he never touched my life in any special way (nor has he answered my written requests that he touch me in a "special" place either.), nor have I ever appeared on his show. But his blatant exploitation of peoples problems for his own financial wealth through endorsing commercial products and the books of other "experts" have inspired me to keep on going. I also feel inspired by Oprah, her never ending crusade to tell the tragic story of every unfortunate person in America, between five minute blocks of promotional advertising is also awe inspiring.
After many requests, and being told I suck for writing "Not-serious" reviews about Degrassi on some shit heads blog, I have decided that now is the time... Now is the time to cast away my fears and not be afraid anymore. Well actually I'm still afraid of my "uncle" Ziggy, who's gentle breath on my neck and weathered hand on my thigh continue to haunt my dreams forever more... But more specifically I am no longer afraid of reviewing Degrassi anymore, and I will soldier on by reviewing this 2nd season of Degrassi while I dream of the day when I've consumed enough alcohol to erase the memories of "uncle" Ziggy's sandpaper like touch.
This time around we're going to change things up a bit. We're still going to keep the photoshop art, that was fun for me to do. The character break downs and general reviews are still going to be there and I'm going to be rip the shit out of assignments done by the students. However one feature will be decidingly absent: The Nancy Alert.
It pains me to inform you that the Nancy Alert will not be in this season review. Reason being is that Nancy through adversity, and her desire to wear the same pink shirt for seven consecutive episodes finally got the screen presence to go from "Fat girl in the background" to "Fat girl who actually has some lines and has some marginal contribution to the plot"
Congratulations to you Nancy, we are all proud of you.
In the place of Nancy Watch we're going to devote at least one Degrassi Extra an award for best extra. This award will go out to the most predominate kid in the background in a Degrassi episode for each episode I can review. So that should be amusing.
So whenever you're ready click on the link and off we go!
