A Review of the First Season of Degrassi Junior High

A Review by Nick Peron

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Degrassi Junior High Episode 07 - The Best Laid Plans:

Swamp Sex Robots - A Review

Possibly one of the greatest porno flics of our time, Swamp Sex Robots, is a staple of the porn industry, and one of the greatest films made that didn't star porn czar Ron Jeremy. And it's also great to see a locally made film be in the spot light. Being Canada's first endeavor into the porn industry, it has raised the bar in terms of quality, and film making.

Created by Canadian cinematic masterminds Kit Hood & David Cronenberg, Swamp Sex Robots is a tale of passion, lust, murderous betrayal, and sex, SEX, SEX. Filmed in Kingston, Ontario, and various gutters surrounding the Greater Toronto Area, the film easily pulls off the illusion that it is taking place in the Louisiana Bayou (not to mention taking full advantage of the low Canadian dollar and provincial and federal tax credits given to film makers who take their productions to Canada. That's right, film Canadian! Save money! Collect fabulous cash prizes!)

This movie follows the adventures of six Louisiana feminists who go under-cover as sex trade workers in order to destroy the testiculating underbelly of society where women are treated as nothing more than cuts of meat to be bought, fucked, and then discarded. However, their mission, and subsequent lesbian sex is jeopardized when a local mad scientist (who hates women, and finds that having them thoroughly fucked in every orifice is the only way to get revenge) creates an army of Swamp Sex Robots to destroy the feminists, and therefore, destroy the entire Women's Lib Movement.

The Swamp Sex Robots are pretty simple to explain. They are robots that live in the swamp and enjoy sex. How robots enjoy sex is hardly the point, as it is actually a commentary about how mechanical and emotionless the porn industry makes sex appear. I also find that the mossy undertones of the robots also point out that no matter what level of society you live in, if you frequent swamps, chances are you are going to get moss somewhere on your body.

The only down side to this movie, and will unfortunately be black mark on what is otherwise an excellent piece of cinematography, is how the film makers sold out and bought the rights to use stock footage from Swamp Thing and The Return of Swamp Thing , in order to save money on showing Swamp Sex Robots, which is the major premise of the film.

However, the Kubrician cinematography during the anal sex scenes are very reminiscent of Dr. Strangelove or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb , and the nod to Citizen Kane where the woman is being fucked by the Swamp Sex Robot on a sled named Rosebud are just some of the amazing things you will see in this film.

Also, the social commentary in the film is fantastic, never since Lloyd Kauffman seriously approached the issue of AIDS in his 1985 movie Troma's War (Available at www.troma.com!) this movie seriously approaches the issue of anal hemoraging from getting double penetrated by two 7" penises when the one of the female characters screams "I think you ripped my butt-hole! Now I'll shit blood!" before taking a load of semen in the face.

I have to say though, that this is a great Cronenberg film, much better than Crash or eXistenZ by far. Check it out at your local Blockbuster!