An Interesting Mullet Story Interlude:

So one day I was sitting in my apartment with my roommate and we were watching the local news station when Speakers Corner came on (For those of you who are not familiar with what Speakers Corner is, essentially, all television stations owned by Chum Entertainment in Canada have one. Where the average person on the street can fork out a dollar to rant and rave about Sports, Government Conspiracies, and their various social vices. Etc. etc. to be aired on television for everyone to see.)

One of the people talking on Speakers Corner was a guy with a mullet. Who, decked out in his clubbing outfit (I’m sorry, but anyone with a mullet should think twice about being caught dead in anything so ridiculous, I mean the hair is bad enough, do you need to dress up like a complete retard to boot?) complaining about how people make fun of his mullet, and proceeds to tell an unsuspecting public that he’s all business in the front, and party in the back… And I wasn’t sure if he was talking about his hair style or his sex life..

But as I think back to this moment, while I was laughing my ass off and spilling beer all over my pants, because the guy was a total loser, was that this movie was made for him. I really wish I could say that I take back the laughter I had when he threw away all his dignity on Speakers Corner but unfortunately I cannot. He was too pathetic.

Note to any Mullet Advocates: Here’s a little something to put in your list of things you should never do. Firstly, if your going to degredate yourself by going to a dance club and not wearing your Dokken t-shirt and ripped jeans, then complain on a public forum that people make fun of your hair, perhaps then maybe you should stop whining, and go on a mullet-ninja-berserker-rampage and send them back with a rupture. Seriously. Just remember when the bouncers pull your bloody mangled body off the dance floor and hand you to the cops, that you can realize that you saved yourself $1.00 that you would have wasted on Speakers Corner and be labeled as a pussy by opinionated assholes like me.

I Was Talking About a Documentary Wasn’t I?:

Now where can I go with this little review now? Well I suppose I can tell you what exactly the creators of this film were doing, which essentially was traveling across America (Which is the only country that has more mullets per capita than anywhere else in the world.) interviewing people with and without mullets about what the mullet means to them.

We learn how the mullet have become a symbolic hair-style for lesbians, that if you look like Billy Ray, you can have a career impersonating him, and god damn it, you can meet the man himself. We learn how a lone DJ who plays country music becomes a chick magnet because his mullet makes him look like a whacked out Beetlejuice with loud shirts. We learn that you can have a successful career if you have a mullet, that you can even become a nutty doctor that everyone loves. And most importantly we learn that people with mullets can love. We learn that the mullet is the choice hair-cut of long generations of a proud race who was decimated and almost whipped out by a bunch of greedy white people who colonized the country.

However, we learn about the darker side of mullets: the mocking, the fun making, the horrible slanderous hate-filled web-sites made by bored teenagers with nothing better to do than post pictures of mullet people on the internet and make fun of them.

But also we learn to accept the mullet: The mullet is our friend, and it has been around for centuries. We must submit to the mullet as it is slowly taking over THE ENTIRE PLANET! BOW DOWN TO THE MULLET! OBEY THE MULLET! WORSHIP THE MULLET AT THE CHURCH OF YOUR CHOICE!!

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This I'm afraid to say this is not a ninja