Before We Begin: How the Hell Did I Find This One?:

I suppose the first question that is coming to mind is how the hell did I discover this documentary about the hair-style that everyone loves to hate?

Now one day, I was in one of my typical movie binges (it was payday, and I decided to spend my disposable income on movies as opposed to booze, cigarettes, and cheap novelties.) And as I was browsing through one of the mega-conglomerate entertainment outlets in my area scoffing at 2 Disc, Special Collectors Edition DVD’s for such films as Throw Mama From the Train , and Fried Green Tomatoes when I happened to spot something very strange.

I glanced at the cover to this movie and (not reading the title) thought “Holy shit, is that Billy Ray Cyrus? As if this guy has a DVD out!” I snatch up the box and take a look at the price.

“Who in their right mind would be a Billy Ray Cyrus DVD for 30 bucks? This looks like shit and he calls it American Mullet?…”

I pause for a moment thinking about the title.

“Huh?” I think, because really why would Billy Ray Cyrus, a “serious” musician (come on he wrote Achy Breaky Heart .) call his DVD (still thinking this is a DVD about said musician that probably has some live performance or something equally as atrocious.) American Mullet? This demands closer inspection…

“The most important hair documentary ever made.” The box boasted, and I’m like “Wait a minute… What the hell?” So I flip the back and read what this movie is about, and it was not the Billy Ray Cyrus DVD I thought it was, but instead a documentary about the mullet hair style.

So who would buy a documentary about mullets for 30 bucks? I would. Asshole.

Lesbians, Billy Ray Cyrus Impersonators, and Various Other Insanities:

So what exactly does this documentary have to say about the mullet? Well as New York Times said about the movie “Gives Mullet Wearers A Voice.” And let’s see who gets a voice:

• Lesbians the world over.

• Billy Ray Cyrus Impersonators

• Old Metal Heads from the 80’s who are now Country DJ’s at hotel dance halls.

• Motorcycle safety inventors with wrapping paper motorcycles.

• Native Peoples of America

• People mistaken for Joan Jett.

So with the exception of the Lesbians, and the Native Peoples, most people with Mullets are bizarre strange people who have a taste for the mullet as a life enhancing hair-style.

I mean seriously, how could you be a successful Billy Ray impersonator if you didn’t have the mullet to go with the crappy new country music? How can you say you enjoyed listening to Slayer and Metallica in the 80’s while playing Alan Jackson at a dance halls unless you had a mullet? And most important of all, how can anyone single you out for any special social or racial group if you didn’t have the right hair cut?

Now one might think that this movie is an exploitation of people with the mullet, but you get an interesting array of stories from people who are just as pathetic as you and I (except in mullet form). Because people with mullets are just like you and me, and apparently we need a documentary to tell us that. Hence why this movie was made.

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