Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Quicksand!
By Rhonda Baughman
On Actor Treatment: cuisine, hotel, air, car, per diem, AND a contract …
I died last weekend – about 14 times – and was spoiled, er - compensated well for my talent to do so. I wonder if the real thing will remotely resemble my weekend in Clinton, Arkansas, “sinking” in “quicksand”, for Studio 588.
Let’s be honest: this was approximately my twelfth film and really set the bar for future projects. They will either be labors of love or compensated, preferably both, but no more films sans point or currency. Thanks to the economy and my newfound sense of ability, there is no such thing as working for free anymore. Really, why work for free when I can write and direct my own film? Moreover, why work for free when I am now a work for hire for Studio 588 – with new short films already in pre-production for the summer of 2010 …
I agreed to work for them again, not just for the money, but I had a most excellent time shooting with the Studio 588 crew: professional, accurate, humorous, memorable, and most importantly: very little ego. It is important for me to work with talented, yet humble directors and to also work with someone, as opposed to just for someone. Thus far, Happy Cloud Pictures and One Shot Productions also share that honorable distinction, now alongside Studio 588.
Directing you to the forum (www.quicksandfans.com), elucidating upon the fetish (or kick, kink, quirk, et al), and giving a weekend synopsis is the easy part; however, precisely indicating why sinking in quicksand, as well as the fact it was a very physically grueling (only emotionally grueling the first time, but more on that in a moment) – and comprehending why it was therapeutic is quite another task altogether. The director, only known as Fred, said perhaps it was a journey of self-discovery. While I just thought that was a movie cliché, it is cliché for a reason, and I was shooting a movie, plus Fred is really smart – and he was exactly right. Everyone needs alone/down time, a literal and figurative space for self-reflection/introspection: the weekend of Clinton, Arkansas, August 6-9, 2009, far away from my home base of Canton, OH (by the way, the same weekend of the interminably maddening Football HOF bullshit) was mine – all mine – and I really, really, really needed it – and goddamn, do I really, really, really hate football. The weekend, then, was a complete success before it even started. How else did I know the weekend was going to be smashing?
After I thanked the director for the ultra-professional treatment (similar to The Matrix, once in, there is no return), and I especially thanked him for getting me out of Canton during HOF – ugh. Fred the Director then asked: Do you know what’s worse than football? No, I replied. Football fans, Fred stated adamantly. He was right. Our extremely Canadian, yet quite talented, DP Ken Hamilton giggled and said, Bloody right, eh! That’s how I knew the weekend would be just fine, so I settled in for the two hour ride from the Little Rock airport and into Clinton, the studio’s location. 
So, with three former DMs in the room, how *can* you change a light bulb?
The answer is most likely the Female DM will have her demands met by all male D&D players, so if she asks for a light bulb to be changed – it shall be changed. Frankly, with this kind of power – I might ask for more than a bloody light bulb replacement. (I just used the word bloody, out of context to actual viscera – damn those Canadians!) This is how I met second DP Mark Ostlander. Now, New Yorker Ostlander and Canadian Hamilton had been net pals for years – and were also meeting for the first time as crew for this shoot. Add brainiacs Arkansas Fred and Ohio Rachelle, also meeting for the first time, into the mix, and it was a fucking slumber party. I was the only one in lingerie, however.
Mercifully, the DL flights were smooth this time. My first layover in MEM consisted of Jim Neeley’s BBQ, which I indulged both inbound and outbound. The ride from LIT took us through cute little towns like: Conway (home to a great Chinese buffet – and you know how I feel about buffets!), Green Hill, Spring Briar, among others, but whatever – all had several antique shops awaiting my arrival for next year’s shoot – to which the director has graciously agreed to play tour guide. Routes 65 and 66, running between Clinton and Leslie, beg to be investigated by your intrepid traveling reporter who is still desperately searching for 80’s relic Tub Town.
Oh yeah – this will occur while I get to act with none other than veteran Scream Queen Brinke Stevens.
My digs were actually at the newly built Super 8 – I slept better there, and in Arkansas, than I often do in my own bed in Ohio. I find this … disturbing. Also, there may have been a cancellation on the set – so I had 14 improvisational scenes, mostly solo. This was an incredible opportunity – and one I didn’t want to botch; so, I made sure I was *on* during all waking hours. The ride from Clinton, into Leslie (population 482) was about 40 minutes. We were based in the foothills, the southern edge of the Ozarks – and damn, it was gorgeous. I happened to have just read Andrei Codrescu’s Road Scholar, on my list since the end of graduate school – well, very apropos for this trip and in a way, I was graduating again.
What can I compare the quicksand to? The only analogy coming immediately to mind is Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist. Towards the end, when Kat Dennings and Michael Cera kiss – it is simultaneously wicked cute and deadly hot. I found myself stretching for a closer look and pursing my own lips ever so slightly. Then following orgasm scene is only heard and actually completed off screen. Refreshing is what it all was – a romantic comedy that didn’t feel forced or make me want to punch a kitten. Quicksand shooting felt like that – new to me, and refreshing both physically and mentally. I could play cute, hot, comedic, dramatic, seductive, or crazy … I wasn’t playing a lesbian vampire, dying in a shower, or vying for a walk-on role. I had first billing. And truthfully, while acting – I found I really got into a few characters in certain scenes – it felt like home, like the stage, where I originally came from, where I was born.
It is where true performers are from – the stage. You live and die while live. Go in thinking you’re tough shit, I can guarantee you’ll fall flat on your face. Go out there with just enough nervous energy, and you can make it work for you rather than against you. Oh – and there’s one more thing:
“Time to wallow in the mire …” – The Doors
I’ve always been under the impression that if you’re going to stand for something – you better be able to back yourself up, show me what makes you credible or shut the fuck up. I gave my best performances during this shoot – and I know it. Another reason why I won’t work for free. You’ll note, I’m not asking for top dollar, since money isn’t really the issue – but merely the compensation is acknowledgement of the time spent, hard work and energy an actor can deliver, as well as an issue of respect. I’ve paid my dues and Rachelle Williams has grown up a bit, so it’s time all B-movie directors take the hint. Or you can find yourself an amateur, someone without twenty years stage and seven years film experience. If you can’t even offer your actors gas money – you don’t deserve to make a film with professionals.
I was ready to shoot the first night. So we did.
First experience in a quicksand pit: just really warm, French clay. Very elegant, tasteful night photo shoot – and I thought the ensuing photographs from both Fred and Ken were outstanding – they really made me look great. It is human nature to be your own worst critic, but I did not have an issue with that this time. The first submergence is always the hardest, but Fred explained the stunt procedure pretty thoroughly. Additionally, Brinke was a great mentor for this particular shoot, giving me many tips and a heads up on how to say safe. I could only think of my beau’s words to me before I left: Be safe, have fun, don’t be nervous, and just know if I were there I would do anything in quicksand the director asked. I remember this point as I start to go under (and for future filming reference, I’m sure), while my second thought is, holy cow, two days of filming and I pay off my furniture. My final though before going under completely is an infamous scene in Tourist Trap, of course: Chuck Connors is plastering the face of a young lovely, in order to make her into a mannequin, all the while mumbling such terrifying yes, you’re going to die and slowly dialogue such as: You are one of us now … awwww … isn’t she pretty?
So, I sink completely.
Too nervous to stay under for long, I come up quickly, snorting slay from my nostrils, with Brinke’s voice is in my head: Do not open your eyes until you are sure the clay is gone.
Two dry washcloths from my trusty DP and a little hosing off – I was good to go.
Second major item of business to note: exiting a clay pit is hysterically physical work. You will use muscles you forgot you had and even once you have the game strategy down and procedure in place – you will be very, very tired. Strangely, I had a better workout in the clay pit than I get at Bally’s. I think this is where the therapeutic aspect began: sometimes in order to get out of your own head, you have to use your body.
The night sounds of Arkansas were … tremendously loud. Mind you, this was my first trip to rural AK, yes, but I thought I had heard all nocturnal noise while in Tucson. Arizona night critter music has nothing on the sounds of Clinton, AK. Do you recall the scene in Troll where are the little buggers start singing – trolls trilling in triumphant tune? Yep, that’s close to what it sounds like at night in Arkansas, but I still think the AK clatter was scarier.
Day two began with a homemade French toast breakfast and the sighting of deer so cute they looked almost phony. We shot a “First Timer” sequence, complete with ads and one-liners for Studio 588, and we moved quickly through a “Sink Tease” scenario, and then to the scene that would amount to my first screenwriting credit: “The Unhinged Tour Guide” – a comedic take on what happens when a tour guide, quite sick of her job, stumbles ridiculously happily into a quicksand pit in front of her horrified nature loving customers. After a lunch break, also homemade, we ventured back out into the Arkansas heat (FYI: nowhere near as bad as Ohio heat) to shoot “Cave Girl v. Fred, The Giant Sucking Toad” (aka “Frog-o-saurus”). My favorite photos come from me fighting a killer quicksand puppet toad, made from a spongy material, yet sporting cute currant eyes. I fought the spongy toad the same way old b/w movie monsters were fought: by hand, lots of thrashing and wriggling, with discreet, almost inconspicuous puppet maneuvering off-camera by the actor.
Goddamn that was so much fun!
After fighting a puppety toad, I wasn’t sure I would be able to top the scene. I continually thought this all weekend, and continually surprised myself. The following scenes, post dinner (again, mercifully and delectably homemade – pasta, no less, which has inspired me to continue working on my own sauce) were “Death to Dr. Casa!” and an “Erotic Sink”. The latter is a quite obviously, a seduction scene – which had you asked me about the quicksand fetish before the shoot, my answer would have been: Huh? A fetish? Why? Now, post-shoot (although, I started to understand by third scene) my response is: Oh, hell yes … hell, hell … Yes! Go Team Fetish and Get Your Wallow On! The former shoot would have me visit two peat pits and a cork pit before I got to the clay. While glad I tried them all, the clay was definitely my favorite, however – and the majority of crabby, hysterical yelling and flailing you see is not exactly faked.
So, while we have fulfillment of many childhood fantasies, we’re now moving into definite adult fantasies. One day, I can see people paying Studio 588 for the chance at living out the types of fantastical scenes I have just completed. In essence, the shoot was very similar to a combo of intense spa trip and role-playing adventure: inner geek (seriously, watch for the brief scene in chain mail) and snobby chic (read my reviews of the LA based Olympic Spa) united – and gave me the perfect all-expenses paid working weekend vacation.
The final day of shooting was rigorous, but well-executed. I have tied Brinke for most scenes shot in a single day: seven. I now also feel like a stunt woman – although, my stunts are ground only. I’ll leave the aerial play for Jasi Cotton Lanier. My final scenes included “Blowdart”, “The Sinking News”, “The Initiation”, “The Drunk”, “The Jogger”, “The Overzealous Reporter”, and “Woman Escapes Prison”. Without a doubt, my dramatic performances in both “Blowdart” and “Woman Escapes Prison” were my favorite, and I think, my best yet. I even surprised myself with a range I was unaware I could channel. Now I know. I also think the words “working out issues” and “quicksand therapy” came to mind during these two performances. I wish I were being cheeky, but I have to admit, I haven’t felt that kind of relief in years: prescription drugs cannot come close to the liberation achieved during “Blowdart” and “Woman Escapes Prison”. When it comes times to research any new psychological stress reduction techniques, the combination of acting and quicksand sinking comes readily to mind.
www.hintofboob.com
Although Elias Iscariot vocalist Jeff Gowins seems keen the next domain he should purchase is www.slitsandtits.com, I might have to disagree and instead argue for www.hintofboob.com. In erotica, it really is often about what you can’t see, about as much as what you can see. The same goes for writing: what does an author write? And what doesn’t he write? And acting … a performance isn’t often about dialogue: it’s about timing and body language, expression and delivery, among a score of other talents. I think it’s also about what you can learn about yourself, too – self-evolvement and growth. I eagerly await next year’s shoot for myriad reasons – seeing how far I can go and discovering what else I am really capable of, chief among those reasons.
Besides, I want to work with the spongy puppet toad again – there really is something irresistible about my co-star – all the ladies, this one included, swoon in his presence. The clay awaits, too – thick and warm, soothing and omniscient – it’s quiet when you submerge, the type of quiet you can’t find anywhere else. And I need that.
