Fucking Comics: Even More About the Fucking Transformers

This edition of Fucking Comics, we're going back and taking a look at the Transformers. I know most of you figure that after my review of Transformers #10, I would have cemented the fact that the old Transformer comics from the 80's were a pile of shit. Further, those of you who have read my rant about Transformers fans, would also contest that perhaps I've already fairly documented the fact that Transformers fans are fucking nuts. I would have agreed with you all, up until recent events have prompted me to write more on the subject.

Unless you've been living in a cave for the past two years or so, you should know that there is a live-action Transformers movie that is to be released in the summer of 2007. As can be expected this has caused quite the "buzz" among the Transformers fan community. Mostly in the way of complaints, because like most fan-bases, Transformers fans want everything to be the same and change is something to be feared and hated.

I haven't been involved in the fan-dom for years, but I do keep up on news and I read the message boards and I can tell you that Transformers fans have gotten even worse since the announcement of this film. The level of insanity, stupidity, and bitching from this fan community has reached unheard of levels each time a new snippet about this movie has come out.

Everything from people bitching from the Transformers appearances in the movie, how it doesn't follow their idea of how a movie would go, and all other sorts of madness. One of the saddest thing I've seen recently was watching an interview video of Dan Murphy about the upcoming Transformers movie, at the 2007 Transformers con. I watched it, and it was possibly the saddest thing I've ever had to listen to, I feel so very sorry for Dan Murphy to have to sit through that and answer questions poised by total fucking morons. I think the most pathetic guy who's "biggest fear" is them screwing up a Transformers movie. Look pal, if your biggest fear is someone making a movie about your childhood obsession in a way you don't agree with, then perhaps you need to GET OUT a little more. Jesus fucking Christ love me and leave me.

I really sympathize with a lot of these writers and such who are hired on to do Transformers and want to do something serious that isn't a big toy commercial, because nine out of ten times when they do something different they have to deal with these hardcore G-1 fans flipping out because they can't pull their heads out of their asses long enough to actually take the time to see if they can enjoy the story.

Recently I had just ordered the DVD box set of Beast Machines, which was the most "controversial" Transformers series (well other than this movie of course) because it had an adult story, and the characters actually grew and changed (Oh my God! Because you know people always remain the same all the time, nobody changes their out looks on life or personalities or nothing) and they made the Transformers half organic half machine. I think the most interesting thing to watch was the interview with Bob Skir, who was the head writer. Skir spent some time touching on the fan reaction to the series. I think the funniest thing was that he when he totally trash talked some of the complainers.

One to note, was his comments about how fans would write him long winded e-mails or post messages on the internet about what they thought he should have done with the series. When he said that I laughed my balls off, because I know exactly what he was talking about. Back in the day there was this fucking douche bag who wrote this god-awful fan-fiction. It was called Transformers: Reset or Reboot or some such non-sense.

Essentially, this asshole hated the concept of Beast Machines that he was compelled to write this shitty fan-fiction about what he wanted to have happen. It was possibly the worst pile of shit I've read in my life. This guy would go around the message boards and much visited websites boasting how clever he was, when his fanfic was a pile of shit. Anyone who thought it was any good should be fucking embarrassed.

Anyway, I got off topic, but I thought it was funny that Bob Skir made fun of it.

And now I'm REALLY getting off topic because this is an edition of Fucking Comics and I haven't even started talking about the comics that I wanted to cover. But the above rant did have a point, in a round about way.

Anyway, the point I'm driving at is that fans of Transformers are almost religiously loyal to Generation 1. Nothing is better than Generation 1. It's the best there ever was. Blah blah blah. If they were born in the middle east and wanted to portray a stereo-type they'd blow themselves up to keep Megatron transforming into a gun as opposed to Allah.

But here's the thing: Generation 1 mostly sucked. I'm sorry to lay it out but it's true. And if my last review of a Transformers comic wasn't proof enough I'm going to do it again.

The first is a look at Transformers #3, originally published by Marvel Comics, and the reason why I'm reviewing this one is because it guest starred Spider-Man, it's to pay tribute to the up-coming New Avengers/Transformers cross-over that will be published by Marvel Comics and IDW Publishing. Here's a hint though, it's not going to be a positive response.

The other Transformers comic we'll be looking at is Transformers #23, also a Marvel comic, which is some pretty good proof that just because it's Generation 1, doesn't mean it's good. This one features graffiti, annoying kids, and chocolate covered sushi pops.... And that's just the tip of the ice burg my friends.

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