So our story begins at the G.B. Blackrock Aerospace plant (fuck, I just realized I’m going to have to explain more shit now, G.B. Blackrock is this rich guy who owns a lot of industrial and fuel plants, the Decepticons took over them in previous issues. Or something.) Where Shockwave is mocking the head of Optimus Prime.

See Shockwave is pretty fucking proud of himself for being able to exploit the head of the Autobot leader in creating the next generation of Decepticons. There’s a lot of masturbatory techno-babble about how Transformers are brought to life, it involves a small cube full of circles that gets enlarged with a bunch of lasers or something lame like that. Apparently the best way to make an army of sentient robots is to defy all the laws of physics. Yeah, robots that defy the laws of physics. Hey, don’t look at me, I’m just telling you what I read.

The robots he brings to life he calls the Constructicons, who are six Decepticons that transform in to construction vehicles (if their name wasn’t that obvious for you) The six robots also combine into one big robot too, which you’ll see later in this issue. It’s not as impressive as it sounds. I will have to say that

the funniest thing about this is that the one that turns into the dump truck is the crotch to the big robot. So yes, there is a Transformer out there that can transform into a crotch.

Anyway, Shockwave sends the Constructicons off on their mission, and Optimus Prime is left to reflect upon the danger he has inflicted on the planet. Yeah, way to go you douche bag.

We then cut to the Ark (which is the Autobot ship that crash landed on Earth 4 million years in the past and became the Autobots base on Earth.) where in-term Autobot

leader Prowl (who has been in charge since the Autobots were reactivated after a short period in which the Decepticons took over their.. ah for fucks sake...) shows industrialist G.B. Blackrock around the base (he became partners in the previous issue, which featured a woman who wears a tinfoil bikini and fires lightening bolts… Yeah, don’t ask)

Of course like the typical industrialist, Blackrock is thinking how much money he could make if he exploits his partners advanced technology. I wouldn’t hang off this as much of a plot thread, because this is the first and last time the writer shows us a greedy site to the G.B. Blackrock character. That’s one thing you have to remember about these old Transformer comics. Most peoples characters are usually presented by saying something like  “My name is so-and-so, I have a laser cannon and I’m homesick!” and that’s all that usually passes for character development.

They end up in the repair bay where they see Jazz getting his arm repaired (he was injured in the previous issue and.. Ah fuck, I’m doing it again) when they note on the status of Sunstreaker, a severely

damaged Autobot (who was injured in.. Wait, they weren’t really clear on that one. Wait a fucking second, what the hell happened to Sunstreaker? I’M ALWAYS THE LAST ONE TO LEARN ABOUT THESE THINGS! FUCK!) Jazz says something about how even their war has casualties (moral message alert!)

Prowl then introduces Blackrock to Huffer, who is a pink and yellow Autobot who can turn into a truck. Oh, by the way, Huffer is also the character the writer, Bob Budainsky, decides to focus on in this issue. Let’s forget about someone more interesting, like Jazz who is a jive talking music lover, or Ironhide who is a total redneck. Let’s pick the little piece of shit truck that whines and is home sick all the time. There’s a good and exciting character for kids at home to read about! Let's take the most depressing, pathetic, annoying, and ugliest character and showcase them in his own issue!

Huffer is trying to repair the Autobots ultra-frequency monitor (whatever the fuck that is), when Prowl asks him what he’s doing, he goes on about how he’s trying to contact Cybertron, and the best he can do is pull up a holographic image of their beloved home planet. Wow, you know what Huffer? That’s fucking pathetic.

You're a failure. I mean to do something like that is comparable to a total metrosexual stud going out and trying to get laid, but then only accomplishing downloading a bunch of porn off the internet. And it's that really bad amateur porn where the camera is shaking around so much you see peoples knee caps and elbows more often than you see any actual sex.

After Prowl is finished humoring Huffer, he shows Blackrock the headless body of their leader Optimus Prime. Blackrock comments about how it’s freaky, and I’m inclined to agree. I mean, what sort of fucking solider's are these guys? I mean when you suffer from such a bad case of separation anxiety that you have to keep your former commanders headless body hanging around in the main lobby for people to see?

Sweet fucking hell! I mean, it’s no wonder why the Autobots always had a fucking problem winning their war with the Decepticons. That is a distinct tactical deficiency when you can’t even function properly when your leader is gone. That’s the most pathetic thing about the Autobots, “Oh, Optimus Prime is dead/missing/getting some, we’re going to lose the war for sure now!” Fuck. If I was Prime, I’d tell these losers to go fuck themselves and join a faction with some balls. The Autobots are fucking pussies.

In talking about how FUCKING CREEPY it is to have the body of your leader kicking around, it somehow reminds Blackrock that he has a phone hook up in his plants that allow him to dial in and listen over the phone without the receiver being picked up. I don’t know how thinking about a headless body will conjure up this though, but I get the feeling whatever story is behind that probably involves a dead hooker being buried out by a train yard or something.

Prowl then commands Huffer to set up a phone hook up when suddenly Bumblebee calls in, (Bumblebee is the one that turns into a Volkswagen), he’s been spying on the aerospace plant (because what says inconspicuous than a yellow Volkswagen beetle?) and he's seeing some movement. The Decepticon, Laserbeak has flown out of the base and dropped some bombs that has makes all the vehicles and equipment of the army entourage (Who have been waiting outside the plant since it was taken over in issue number who-the-fuck-cares) melt.