Transformers #10 Part 1: More Than Meets The Eye Sore.

After taking a vote from my regular “readers” the conclusion was drawn that this next edition of Fucking Comics be about a really bad issue of Transformers (when I say readers, I don’t mean people who come and visit my website, apparently nobody visits my website except for people searching for pictures of people skull fucking. ((If you are reading this because your Google search brought you here, congratulations you proved my point)) but the people whom I chat with online on a regular basis, otherwise known as my friends.)

This shouldn't be too hard a review to write, since I used to have my own Transformers fan site. The purpose of a Transformers fan site is to complain about how shitty every episode and comic book really is because it isn’t up to the high standards that you’ve applied to a commercial property. Also, as I’ve stated in a previous rant, Transformers fans are all fucking crazy, so if this review doesn’t make you laugh, it should at least prove entertaining.

Anyway, the issue I’ve selected is Transformers #10, published by Marvel Comics back in November of 1985. While not the worst of any of the Transformers comics ever published, it’s up there, and I want to keep some other material for a later edition.

In the 1980’s, Marvel comics was the running leader of comic book companies that were printing off comics based on other properties. Be it comics based on toy lines, popular movies, or even TV shows. Chances are, if it had a comic book in the 80’s, Marvel was the one who printed them. The Transformers was one of the very properties I mentioned, and it was one of the few that actually became pretty popular and lasted longer than people though.

The series started off only as a four issue limited series, but by the end of it’s run, it had run 80’s issues and even surpassed the longevity of the Transformers cartoon, and was still around even as Hasbro was practically losing money making Transformers toys.

However, even though it was a good series towards the end, it’s humble beginnings weren’t so great. In it’s first 55 issues the series was constantly plagued with awful stories, horrid artwork, and possibly the laziest coloring jobs I’ve ever seen in a any comic book. The first bunch of issues were the worst because, of course it was a new series back then and the characters weren’t previously established.

One of the biggest failings of the series was that a lot of the early issues focused on human characters who only appeared in the one issue. Which totally takes away from the purpose of the series: Selling Transformer toys. I don’t know what the writer was thinking when he’d write in a sub plot about a trucker trying to get home, or a used car salesman trying to rip people off, or a dysfunctional family on a vacation, or the worst, where they have to protect a Bruce Springsteen type musician from the bad guys.

Needless to say, there are some pretty awful stories, and Transformers #10 is one of the worst pieces of shit of the shit pile.

Ho-kay, now we’re going onto the actual review of this here comic, but now I’m going to have to delve into a bit of continuity here for the people who don’t know a single fucking thing about Transformers (and trust me, you’re better off!) It shouldn't prove to hard. I mean what is there to know? So here we go!

The Transformers are robots from the planet Cybertron which they have to leave to find new energy sources because it’s spinning free in space or something retarded like that. Now the Transformers can transform into vehicles and stuff (because they’re robots in disguise, and if reading this comic book is any indication, they aren’t really good at disguising themselves either) and there are two factions. There are the good guys, the Autobots, led by Optimus Prime. Then there are bad guys, the Decepticons, led by Megatron. Both groups crash land on the planet Earth and are revived and made to transform into earth vehicles.

You following this? Good. So the bad guys notice that Earth has a shit load of energy sources to exploit and decide to plunder the planet, and the Autobots are of course trying to stop them, with hilarious results. This is the basic plot of the series.

At the point of this issue, the Decepticons have been taken over by Shockwave, another bad guy who can turn into a gun. They also have the head of Autobot leader Optimus Prime held hostage, which they are using to create new Decepticons with his Matrix of leadership program, and the Autobots are trying to get his head back while getting involved in many other wacky adventures.

If you want a more detailed explanation or want to know more, just look up some Transformers website, because I’m not going to go bother going through this shit at any great length.

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