Fucking Comics: Jimmy Olson, Life Wrecking Idiot

Jimmy Olson, Narcissist!

The final thing that I want to bring up is how much of a narcissist Jimmy Olson may be. Always getting in the way of things and making sure his name ends up in the headlines. Some may say he's doing it because he's generally good hearted or whatever. But to me I believe that the guys a big fucking narcissist.

For those of you at home who have no idea what Narcissism is, here's what our friends at Wikipedia had to say about that:

People of a Narcissistic nature, suffer from a personality disorder that make a person have a grandiose sense of self-importance, preoccupied with fantasies of ultimate success (be it power, beauty, love etc.), believes that they are special and unique (and only understood by those who are "special"), requires excessive attention, has a strong sense of entitlement, takes advantage of others for their own end, lacks empathy, is often envious of others (or believes the opposite) and is arrogant.

I don't know about you folks, but Jimmy fits that in spades! So let's take a look at what I've got to prove my claim (God, do think I'm spending my time explaining why I think a comic book character is an ego-maniac... I have no life.)

"The Boy Millionaire!" - From Superman's Pal Jimmy Olson #3

Jimmy gets into some money when he saves a rich (and crazy) woman's cat from a safe. With 1 million dollars in his pocket, Jimmy goes from cub reporter to total asshole, as he flaunts his money around (even throwing out a "soiled" $1000 bill) and quitting his job at the Daily Planet. Of course crooks find out about the money that Jimmy gets entitled too, and try to trick him into giving it to them. Trapped in a room while the crooks wait for Superman to show up, Jimmy and Lois burn all the money. Jimmy has to eat a humble pie and beg for his job back. But as we've all plainly seen here, Jimmy becomes an ego-maniac once he gets a bit of extra cash in his pockets.

"King For a Day!" - From Superman's Pal Jimmy Olson #4

Jimmy is mistaken for a prince and decides to take up living the high life and playing along with it. Leaving poor Superman to have to protect Jimmy from various assassination attempts while they wait for the real prince to return to his kingdom.

"Jimmy Olson, Crooner"- From Superman's Pal Jimmy Olson #8

When Jimmy gets a cold and his husky voice makes him sing like a crooner, the jerk quits his job and becomes a musician, of course this all backfires when he gets better and his voice goes back to normal and he can't carry a tune. Jim probably had to spend hours under Perry White's desk to get his job back.

"The Six Jimmy Olson's" - From Superman's Pal Jimmy Olson #13

When Jimmy answers an ad in the newspaper asking for Jimmy Olson to help aid in a mystery, he finds five other kids who are named Jimmy Olson. And how egotistical do you have to be, when you chum around with five other people who have the same fucking name you do!? Not to mention the fact that he gives them all names, all of which force the person interacting with them to focus on their most noticeable physical trait when meeting them. There's "Cub" Jimmy (because he's the cub reporter right? Got to have a cool name!), "Tubby" Jimmy,"Slim" Jimmy, "Short" Jimmy, "Tall" Jimmy, and "Goggles" Jimmy. The frightening thing is that all these kids resemble Jimmy in one way or another, which makes me wonder if Jimmy Olson's dad could swing by and answer a few questions I have about that.

"The Three Lives of Jimmy Olson" - From Superman's Pal Jimmy Olson #16

Jimmy is duped by a fake Swami who has a "reincarnation" machine that lets you dream about your past life. It turns out to be a hoax and the crook wanted to steal a valuable element. Jimmy's "past life" dreams have him gallivanting about Samson, Hercules and Thor. Not only is this asshole an egotistical jerk that brags about his friendship with Superman, but he'll subconsciously daydream that he'd be pals with other mythic characters too. What an asshole.

"The Riddle Reporter" - From Superman's Pal Jimmy Olson #18

How much of an egotistical narcissist can you be when you've diluted yourself into believing you're the greatest reporter, that only a robot that you programmed in your sleep is the only thing that is capable of out-scooping you? Jimmy Olson apparently.

"The Two Jimmy Olson's" - From Superman's Pal Jimmy Olson #19

A variation on a theme obviously, in this story Jimmy gets a robot version of himself to try out. He sends it out to do things, and it destroys or sabotages them. Some may thing that the robot was malfunctioning, but I think Jimmy's orders were supposed to cause a general disorder, then Jimmy destroys the robot so everyone praises him as a hero, then he writes a damning report on plastic robots. See how it all works out for him? Clever bastard.

"Wonderlad" - From Superman's Pal Jimmy Olson #21

In this story, while Superman is out of town Jimmy meets a newspaper delivery boy who is envious of Jimmy's friendship with Superman. Jimmy decides that he wants to experience some hero worship and dresses up in a costume and calls himself Wonderlad and goes around saving the day and doing the same thing to this kid that Superman does to him. I suppose that CCR song about how the more you grow up, the more you become the things you hate is true. Anyway the two get captured (because Jimmy really sucks as a superhero) and have to be saved by Superman.

"The Wedding of Jimmy Olson" - From Superman's Pal #21

This was a tough call because I thought this one was good for the whole stalker thing on the previous page, but I thought it's more suited here... but I'm getting ahead of myself. In this story Lois Lane writes a "news" story about how great Jimmy Olson is (I'm going to have to give Perry White some credit for letting a woman write an editorial since this story is from the 50's and all. Nobody probably read it, but still it was a gusty move for it's time.) Jimmy finds her notes, and thinks that Lois is in love with him, especially when she wants to spend more time with him. He builds this elaborate fantasy that Lois is in love with him and he has to marry her. These fantasies also include Superman flying him and Lois to their honeymoon. How much of a jerk do you have to be to fantasize about stealing your pal's girlfriend and then using him as your private transport to the place where you plan on taking your new bride to consummate the marriage?

This story has possibly one of the most amusing panels in any Jimmy Olson comic I've read:

Well that finishes things up for this edition of Fucking Comics, if you haven't been thoroughly convinced Jimmy Olson is a narcissistic stalker who's a total dupe and lives for nothing more than wrecking other peoples lives, then I failed at my job. And if I failed, well.. I really don't give a shit. If you're interested in reading some of these Jimmy Olson stories you can either spend a shit load of money on originals or pick up the Showcase Presents: Superman Family Volume 1 Trade paperback which is available just about anywhere. I'd like to thank the folks at Superdickery for opening my eyes to this wacky, wacky shit.