Fucking Comics: Jimmy Olson, Life Wrecking Idiot

Back in 1954, DC Comics (which is short for Detective Comics Comics, I guess the second Comics is silent) it was decreed that Jimmy Olson get his own series. Jimmy Olson, for those of you who don't know is the freckle faced cub reporter at the Daily Planet in the Superman comics. He's also the self titled "Pal" of Superman.

The stories, at least in the very beginning (and even for DC's standards) were exceedingly wacky. Ranging from giving him silly super-powers to finding inventive new ways to fritter away Superman's free time when the man of steel should be out saving the universe or something.

I don't know what the story behind the series inception was, I mean, I could hardly believe that one day someone jumped out of their seat and said "What we need is a comic where the main character has no super-powers, constantly has his nose up a super-heroes butt and has a stalker-like attachment to him and constantly frolics with gorillas!"

It couldn't have been something like that, could it?

Well what ever Jimmy Olson conspiracy theory you hold onto, the after effect involved Jimmy Olson getting his own series, and the writers decided to leave all logic at the door.

However, there was always one constant to the wacky adventures of Jimmy Olson, no matter if he was fighting gorillas, dressing up like a woman or collecting Superman's used tissues out of the garbage. And that constant was the fact that Jimmy Olson was a life wrecking idiot.

Superman might be the biggest dick on the planet, but he has burdened himself with protecting the planet Earth. This however, doesn't stop Jimmy Olson from using his signal watch at the drop of a hat in order to get Superman to help him lose weight to become a jockey, or win marble tournaments.

But this in itself creates a paradox, because it seems the more that Jimmy wastes Superman's time, Superman in turn, spends his time trying to create elaborate hoaxes and pranks on Jimmy.

It's almost as if the two suffer from a combination of Dependant Personality Disorder and Passive-Aggressive Behavior, and that the two facilitate these compulsions in each other. And if you ask me, the last guy I want to be receiving passive aggressive behavior from is a guy who can fire heat rays from his eyes and could punch a hole through the planet.

As far as I'm concerned, Superman is a ticking time bomb, and Jimmy Olson just has to do that one last thing that'll set him off on a world destroying temper tantrum.

Before I get into citing specific examples of this ridiculous behavior, I'll finish off my history lesson by saying that the Jimmy Olson stories were very ridiculous up until the 1970's when Jack "King" Kirby took over the helm and created some of DC's less ridiculous characters (and how someone like Darkseid fits into a Jimmy Olson story is anyone's guess)

Now, with all that history out of the way, grab a hold of your seat frantic one! Because what you are about to read will be mildly amusing!