So doing a bad parody of the Twilight Zone wasn't enough. Not only did you have to do a shitty, bad, and unfunny parody you also had to break the fourth wall and have the characters acknowledge the fact that they're in a comic book story, then draw yourself in there for some ego boost. Mr. Steffenhagen looks like he's a fucking stunt double for a cum-bucket in an all man porn movie.

Gah, so here we go again, another bland and boring "biography" of a band.

Well, I'm going to start by commenting on the art in this one. In a word: Horrible. Some pages look like they were

rushed, other pages look like they were never inked. Some of them were left as partial sketches, and there is even one that looks like some sort of grunge version of For Better or For Worse.

It's awful, and it's embarrassing. I know indie artists have unique styles, but shit on toast, this guy sucks. You could have a cat vomit on paper and add word balloons and you'd get something even better (fuck, Slave Labor Graphics would probably print it anyway)

So yeah.. Soundgarden... Um.. So kind of like the Nirvana thing, the lead guy from Soundgarden had people who ragged his choice of music (At least he had a bit of taste and listened to Alice Cooper, and not some lame shit like the Cars) while people worshiped Jimi Hendrix.

Uh yeah, a band is formed, they pick their name from a sculpture that makes noise called a Soundgarden.

I'm going to point out the fact that the artist chooses not to draw the sculpture that the guys are talking about, so you've got these panels of guys standing on a beach with their shirts off looking off in the distance. The fuck?

Then there is more bland talking, blah blah record deal, girl friend manages them, some guy sitting by himself thinking about his own fucking fan-zine (lame)

More talk about records, band switches, jokes about record executives. Fuck, this is like the Nirvana one all over again, but even less happens because on top of all the panels of people standing around talking, there are also many many panels of just records.

Then a joke about how Soundgarden is always compared to Led Zeppelin, and another moment where Spike Steffenhagen includes himself in the story, which leads to this really fucking retarded segway where the lead singer of Soundgarden is threatening him with a cross bow.

Then some shit about a band called Mother Love Bone, and they have some

sort of connection to both Pearl Jam and Soundgarden, but fuck if I can tell you what they have to do with it because the writer fucking sucks! What the hell kind of story are you trying to tell me when I can't make fucking sense of all the events your trying to cram in 20 odd pages?

More records, band switch ups, mother fucking Mother Love Bone, oh a cameo appearance by Slash. I fucking hate Slash. He's a loser in a stupid hat who should have fucking died a long time ago. Guns 'N' Roses suck. I fucking hate them, and I wish they would all just fucking die already. Your old dinosaur rock. Guns 'n' Roses is the kind of music that is listened to people who bought their albums in high school when they first came out, thought they were tough rockers, knocked up their stupid girlfriends and now unclog my toilets and shingle my roof and live miserable lives, and the only pathetic form of joy they have is Guns 'n' Roses. "Welcome to the Jungle" is not a good song. It's a pile

of shit, and they'll stop playing the damn thing when you old worn out rockers fucking die. Mark my words.

*huff huff huff*

So there's a mention about a kill whitey hat, and how someone will get killed if they wear it in a truck stop, what this has to do with the story, nobody knows. Oh and there's a Grammy awards show with a cameo appearance by Millie Vanillie and a joke about their lip syncing (ooooooh wow, real cleaver)

Probably the most bland and unexciting conversation about Heroin addiction I've heard in my life. "I just get scared

sometimes... I want to be clean now?" I've read more emotional lines in fan-fics about Star Trek characters reading Dragon Ball Z hentai to find the truth that Jesus really had sex with children who were really Transformers who turned into characters from Star Fox.

Thankfully, this scene dies when yet another rocker dies of a drug over dose. Why do people still get emotional about that sort of shit? You know why, if you or your family knows a rock musician that does heroin. Shoot them in the head. With a gun. Please. You might as well, because it's either that or your going to find them OD'ed in a bed room with a needle stuck in one testicle and shitty dripping down their pant leg onto your new bed spread.

Oh we're finally getting into shit about Pearl Jam, I just noticed they mentioned Eddy Vedder's name.

Great.

You know what, fuck this.. I give up. These are too painful to read. Look, it just goes on about all the albums they release up until that point when the story was published and then there's a plug for Lallapalooza 2 (Which I'm afraid to say, you missed by a good decade if you're still waiting for it.)

Oh, and if you want to read another boring story, there is a story inspired by Eddy Vender's life on a reserve hunting buffalo and his grandmothers pearl jam. I thought pearl jam was semen. Holy fuck, did Eddy Vender's grandmother feed him semen? Holy shit that's sick.

Anyway...

I think the conclusion we can all draw here from this magical experience is that doing an autobiography on musicians, in comic book form, is not very entertaining, you can't be too descriptive or go into any sort of detail unless you have a lot of pages to work with and you have an artist who can never get bored of drawing pictures of people sitting around talking about how "I like bass" and "I like drums" and "I want to beat the habit".

Unless someone had in depth knowledge about the band, all this information is pretty useless because it has no sense of flow or a timeline that can be followed. Any setting that takes place is instantly ruined by any and all scene jumps and it's hard to tell the characters apart.

Obviously this is a case of for fans by fans, but holy shit, this is exactly why you shouldn't do this sort of thing. You want someone to write a