I think this Nirvana comic was the prototype for the fanfics that now proliferate the internet. Back then, people didn't have the imagination to write or draw a good comic about Kurt Cobain ass fucking Goombas from Super Mario World, or time traveling with Marty McFly (who happens to be a vampire and Darkwing Ducks side kick all at once!) that they were reduced to writing bland histories of their favorite musicians either from word of mouth ("I went to a Nirvana show, it was so awesome.") and what little press there was available.

At any rate, this unauthorized biography titled "Smells Like Territorial Pissings" (They used parts of two Nirvana songs? GET IT!? THAT'S AMAZING!) was written by Spike Steffenhagen (who did a lot of Rock 'n' Roll comics, and little else from what I can find on the internet) and artist Scott Pentzer.. Who yeah, did not a whole lot else after Revolutionary Comics as far as I can tell.

The splash page shows a picture of Kurt Cobain giving the finger, while a dog pisses on his leg. That's really flattering. "Hey Kurt, we like your music so much we're going to draw a dog taking a piss on your fucking leg!" Also in the picture is Dave Grohl, before someone told him he looked like a fucking girl with his long hair (not that the look he adopted after is all that much of an improvement) There is some other assholes in this picture, but again, I don't care about Nirvana enough to point out who the hell it is.

Our story begins with a brief history lesson of the town of

Aberdeen, Washington, starting in the year 1801. What the year 1801 has to do with Nirvana, I have no idea. I believe that it's a vein attempt to give the story some setting, since the town of Aberdeen is apparently a major focus of the story as opposed to the band.

Anyway, apparently Aberdeen used to be a trading town that was one big open concept brothel back in those days, until the people there realized they could make a mint off of the abundant amounts of lumber (I can understand how both industries involve making money off wood, but I do believe sex would have been a more lucrative industry than lumber)

Apparently, the early prostitution business had a direct effect on

modern times of Aberdeen, as apparently people in tailors are always grabbing their wives arms and demanding supper. I don't see how this has anything to do with prostitution. I mean, if you were going to say that Aberdeen's burlesque origins had an effect on society wouldn't the people in modern day Aberdeen be paying their wives for sex... and supper? As opposed to grabbing their arms and yelling at them?

We then cut to a 12 year old Kurt Cobain's circa 1980, and view his thoughts. He hates this town and it's long haired rednecks. I have to comment here that most of every characters dialogue works as exposition or plot advancement, because well the narration to these stories are simplistic and vague, additionally, there isn't really much of a way to telling a story about a bunch of people

standing around talking about starting bands without them stating the obvious and still keep my attention.

Young Kurt goes home where his mother (Who is vacuuming, as we can see there is no end to the past of prostitution in this town! Women vacuuming! Absurd!) Kurt goes to his room and see's his mother bought him a Cars album. Wait.. Kurt Cobain listened to the Cars? HA HA HA HA HA! THAT'S SO FUCKING LAME!

Meanwhile, we jump to California (actually a perspectives void that is supposed to be California, because apparently the artist doesn't seem to draw too many backgrounds) we meet a 15 year old Chris Novoselic. His plans to go see Devo (HA HA HA HA HA HA!) are ruined because his parents are suddenly moving him to Washington! Fuck! The dialogue reads like a bad scene from a sitcom where the young child of the decidedly goofy family says something that's mildly disappointing. The delivery of this plot point is so awful. I mean the parents could have said

"Your father and I accidentally broke the freezer" and Chris could have responded with "Awwww man! I suppose I have to eat all the ice cream before it melts now!" and it would have had the same effect.

In the next moment, Chris is suddenly attending Aberdeen high school and meets Buzz Osbourne and Matt Lukin. While it is reestablished that Chris moved from Seattle, the three talk about music they like, apparently mentioning Kiss around Matt Lukin makes him freak out in spasms according to the artist. Buzz uses this as a moment to brag about the indie bands he checks out in Seattle all the time. Don't you hate it when people fucking go on about the indie bands they like? Anyway, I thought I'd point out that the artist drew Matt Lukin wearing a "Dick Lickin' Cowboys" t-shirt... I have no idea what that's about, is that a reference to the "infamous" gay cowboy shirt that was made popular during the UK punk scene in the 70's or something? Was there something against dick licking cowboys in Washington back then? Who can tell.

We suddenly jump to a museum where Kurt Cobain is on a field trip. No explanation why, or what this museum trip has to do in correlation to Chris moving to Washington from California. We see the teacher telling the class that they can wander around as they see fit. Some kids wearing shirts reading "My dad is a logger" and "My dad is a mechanic" (did kids wear shirts professing their fathers professions in the early 90's? Was this a fad I was missing while kids in Canada were still wearing over-alls with one strap undone?) decide to go and look at paintings of naked women. Kurt then commentates on how they're stupid because they can't appreciate art if it can't give them a boner (This coming from a guy who painted shitty pictures of angels with penises.)

Meanwhile, Chris is laughed at for liking bands like Flipper instead of Led Zeppelin and AC/DC, and apparently all punk rock is about "I wanna fuck my mother. I wanna fuck my mother." I don't know where

all this sudden mother fucking in punk rock comes from. I think perhaps it's a strange Feudian sub-genre I wasn't aware of.

So we jump again to a scene where Cobain is trying to play along with a Black Flag song, then we jump again to a scene where Cobain is wearing a Black Flag shirt in class and someone asking him how he can listen to Black Flag. Apparently this then jumps to conversation about their futures, where Cobain says he doesn't want to be a lumber jack and the kid asks him if he's going to be a rock star. Cobain thinks to himself that no, he doesn't think he'll become a rock star but he doesn't want to be like the people he lives around (if that wasn't already established)

We then jump to... Fuck I don't even know what's going on anymore!!

You see, what happens by this point is the fucking narrative almost disappears, we jump from non-location to non-location with no idea of what context they have with the previous scene, where it's taking place, or what time it is. Further, unless you really pay attention to the artists work, you can't tell who's who. Especially since people just keep on talking matter-of-fact information instead of having developed characters.

There's some shit about a band called the Melvins, Kurt liking the Bay City Rollers and Abba (AH-HA-HA-HA!), people graduating, joining bands, leaving bands. Some guy gets his fingers cut off with a chainsaw.

Fuck it goes on like this until page 10 where Kurt borrows a four track from his aunt who is an aspiring country musician and screams "RAPE ME!" into it. It's not until page 11 when Nirvana first appears as a band, playing in a "shitty old house" Some more talking, such great dialogue as "I like bass" and "Cool. Seen any good shows lately?"

Some record deals, driving around in the "Nir-Van" and MORE FUCKING BORING PANELS OF PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT BORING SHIT! Oh and there's a scene where the band are in a house cooking a tin of

beans (or something) over a burning baseball bat. There are some more people leaving the band, airplane rides. Mentions of bands I've never heard of some jokes about record execs (that aren't funny) and finally the appearance of David Grohl to the band.

I have to say that this is the artists only shining moment, Dave Grohl looks as much the girl douche that he was back then (and still is today!)

Anyway, back to more boring stuff, people sitting around and talking. I think we were supposed to think Kurt was a deep and emotional person when someone mentions that "he just broke

up with a girl", there are more record execs, then they actually star talking about their mainstream albums, and TV appearances.

Then a few panels where Kurt comments on the flannel being his choice clothing because he's on a logging town, and his opinion that a fan should just want to talk to a musician instead of wanting his autograph.

There is more shit about Nirvana becoming popular, climbing the charts, interviews with Dave Grohl. Curt gets a fucking Black Flag tattoo (dude, that's