Beelza Bob #1 Part 1 - Religion Isn't Funny. Ever.
Sure, I guess you can subscribe to that theory, but if you think that is an all encompassing theory, I'm afraid that today I'm going to have to burst your bubbel. Because today 9 out of 10 independant comics totally fucking suck. They suck for one simple reason alone: It's too fucking easy to make comics these days. With the advent of computers, and the variety of graphic arts programs out there, even the most inept and uncreative person can create a passingly readable comic if they've got a few hours to spare in each day. Why do you think there are so many web comic out there featuring anthropomorphic animals with fully functioning genitals, that have a plot device that either involves sister fucking or shitting in diapers in front of a large audience? In any case, it's no surprise that with the advent of comic book shops, the easy to get distributed in Diamond Distributors, and the explosion of bargain basement printing companies it didn't take long for people with the money and time to create shitty comics able to get their work on the comic book shelves. In the early 2000's, the big thing amung these independant dick chokers was doing comics that featured the age old Chrisian battle between heaven and hell in a humorus and not to mention a blasphemous manner. So far as I'm concerned, the pro-lifing, creationist, holier than though pig fuckers that believe in Christianity are a bunch of small minded peon slaves that are willing to cash into a fucking fairey tale so that they can get by in a world that is too scary for them as far as I'm concerned, but if you're going to go out of your way to make a comic to offend them, you might as well make one that's a bit interesting for me to read. See, I think the reason these comics popped out of the woodwork was probably because around the year 2000 the world was going Armageddon crazy, because according to some, as of midnight January 1st in the year 2000 all the worlds computers would magically stop working because they weren't programmed to understand "2000" as a year, and as a result, the world would explode. Or something of a similarily stupid nature. So it's no surprise that a bunch of college dorm pot smokers who thought they were really funny and could draw passingly well went to the trouble of drawing up these (pardon the pun) God awful comics. The only survivor of this dark era in comic books is the once ultra-popular Battle Pope, which at the time of this writing consists of primarily reprints, because I guess there is only so much outrage you can squeeze out of a comic about a Pope with big muscles that likes to have sex. But I'm getting away from the point of this review.... Today's review centers around the premiere issue of a book called Beelza Bob, which is one of the aformentioned religious themed "funny" books, which goes to show that no matter how hard you try, you can't make religion funny. It was originally published in July 2003 by Comics Conspiracy, -- known for such "amazing" titles as B.A.B.E. Force, Tax Man, and Generic Comics! -- Whom so far as I can tell has long since gone out of buisness (no surprises there), and so far as I can tell this first issue is the only one out there. In all appearances, it looks like it was drawn in Paintbrush and was assembled in Photoshop. The guys who made this comic must have also been really good at changing the properties of the Eye Candy plug-in's they had for it as well. |
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Ah, Independant Comics. You know a lot of people like to tell you that comic books created by the independant circuit are far suprior than the mainstream books because they have the breath and the creativity that the major labels lack.