How To Insult Comic Book Readers in 8 Pages or Less!Wild Dog in "Mortal Stand Chapter 7: Legionnaire's Disease"The Breakdown:Shamefully brought to you by: Max Colling & Terry Beatty Presented in a whopping 8 Pages of Punisher rip-off excitement! What's the story: So Wild Dog is fighting these terrorists at a newspaper plant for no particular reason. There's some shooting and stuff, and then Wild Dog is picked up by his friends and then.. Well... There really isn't much of a story to it. And what the hell this story has to do with Legionnaire's Disease is beyond me. Padding: Well if you consider the lack of story.. I'd have to say that the whole thing is padding. It's like you don't even know what the hell is going on. The only back story was not even related to this story arc. Stupid Factor: In the story, Wild Dog rigs plastic explosives on the lead crook he's fighting. The resulting explosion kills him, but doesn't make that much of a mess. I think plastic explosives would make more of a mess then depicted here Two Trademark Wild Dog lines that will make you the envy of everyone and rise you up to instant "Cool" Status: "Then you got two options: Get blown to hell, or...." "Just tell the cops you're anti-porn and they'll go easy on you." What really is a joke: The fact that Wild Dog had his own series. Final Nail on Wild Dog: When I read this story, I look at this character and I feel like crying. I feel like crying because it had to take a lot to create such a fucking horrible character that is obviously a blatant rip-off of a certain other vigilantly who is popular in comics. Just look at him! LOOK AT HIM!
Doesn't that make you want to go out and become a masked vigilante? I know I do!
Superman in "Familiar Face?"The Breakdown:Shamefully brought to you by: Roger Stern and Curt Swan Presented in a whopping 2 Pages! Hold you're breath folks, it's a whopper! What's the story: I don't think this story even deserves even some sort of summary. Superman flies to the Daily Planet, dresses up as Clark Kent to investigate some crook and learns that he died or something. The story ends with Supes thinking "?!?", which pretty much sums up any rational thinkers mind as to what the fuck this story is doing in here other than filling up space. Possible future uses for "Familiar Face?" Staring Superman (A 2 page epic):
2.) Just in case you're out of toilet paper. 3.) A potential choking hazard for children under the age of 3. Art Imitates Crap: Not only is this breath-taking 2 pager not the least bit interesting, the art isn't much to write home to mom about. I wrote a letter home about it, and I got it back the next day saying "Return to Sender"... I guess it helps if you provide proper postage. But seriously, how fucking bad an artist do you have to be when you make Clark Kent look like Al Frankin from Saturday Night Live? Not to mention that the rest of the art in the story sucks too. |
|
|
|
Next - Previous |
1.) Excellent replacement for the newspaper for Rover piddled on.